The Hawkline Monster: A Gothic Western

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Book: Read The Hawkline Monster: A Gothic Western for Free Online
Authors: Richard Brautigan
Tags: Fiction, General
that as soon as they both stood up and you took your eyes off them for a second, you would not be able to tell which one was Magic Child and who was Miss Hawkline. He suddenly realized that Magic Child was going to die shortly in that kitchen and a second Miss Hawkline would be born and then there would be two Miss Hawklines and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between them.
    Greer felt a little sad. He liked Magic Child.
    A few moments later, while they were all talking about the monster, both of the women got up and started moving around the kitchen, cleaning up after breakfast.
    Greer kept his eye on the one that was Magic Child. He didn’t want to lose her.
    “We’ve never killed a monster before,” Cameron said.
    Greer took his eyes accidentally off the women to listen to Cameron. Then he realized in horror what he had done and turned instantly back to the women but it was too late. He couldn’t tell the difference between them.
    Magic Child was dead.

• The Funeral of Magic Child •
    “Which one of you is Magic Child?” Greer said.
    The Hawkline women stopped their after-breakfast-kitchen-clean-up and turned toward Greer.
    “Magic Child is dead,” one of the women said.
    “Why?” Greer said. “She was a nice person. I liked her.”
    “I liked her, too,” Cameron said. “But that’s the way it goes.” Cameron had the kind of mentality that could accept anything.
    “You die when you’ve lived long enough,” one of the Hawkline women said. “Magic Child lived as long as she was supposed to live. Don’t feel sad. It was a painless and needed death.”
    They were both smiling gently at Greer and Cameron. You could not tell the difference between the women now. Everything about them was the same.
    Greer sighed.
    “What about another name to tell the difference between you?” Greer said.
    “There is no difference between us. We’re the same person,” one of the women said.
    “They’re both Miss Hawkline,” Cameron said, to make it final. “I like Miss Hawkline and now we’ve got 2 of them. Let’s call them both Miss Hawkline. Who gives a fuck in the long run?”
    “That sounds fine,” Miss Hawkline said.
    “Yes. Just call us Miss Hawkline,” Miss Hawkline said.
    “I’m glad that’s taken care of,” Cameron said. “You have 1 monster in the basement. Right? And he needs killing.”
    “Not in the basement,” Miss Hawkline said. “In the ice caves.”
    “That’s the basement,” Cameron said. “Tell us some more about this God-damn creature. Then we’ll go down and blow its fucking head off.”

• The Hawkline Monster •
    The two Miss Hawklines sat back down at the table with Greer and Cameron and started telling the story of the Hawkline Monster.
    “Our father built this house,” Miss Hawkline said.
    “He was a scientist teaching at Harvard,” the other Miss Hawkline said.
    “What’s Harvard?” Cameron said.
    “It’s a famous college in the East,” Miss Hawkline said.
    “We’ve never been in the East,” Greer said.
    “Yes, we’ve been there,” Cameron said. “We’ve been to Hawaii.”
    “That’s not East,” Greer said.
    “Don’t Chinamen come from China which is in the East?” Cameron said.
    “It’s not the same,” Greer said. “Saint Louis is in the East and Chicago. Places like that.”
    “You mean that East,” Cameron said.
    “Yeah,” Greer said. “ That East.”
    “The monster—” Miss Hawkline said, trying to get back to the original subject which was the monster that dwelled in the ice caves under their house.
    “Yeah,” Greer said. “How in the hell did we get to talking about Hawaii? I hate Hawaii.”
    “I mentioned it,” Cameron said. “Because we were talking about the East. I hate Hawaii, too.”
    “Hawaii’s a dumb thing to bring up in this conversation. These women have a problem,” Greer said. “They paid us their money to take care of it and let’s get on with it and I know you hate Hawaii because I

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