Read The Half Life of Molly Pierce for Free Online Page B

people I used to know are strangers. And the stranger sitting next to me seems like someone I’ve known my whole life.
    I know.
    Nothing makes sense to me, either.
    And then I ask him. I say, “Sayer, how did you know where I live?”
    And he says, “I don’t want to lie to you.”
    And I say, “Why would you lie?”
    And he says, “There are reasons.”
    “What would you lie about?”
    “It’s a small town,” he says. “Anyone could have told me.”
    “Did someone tell you?”
    “At one point,” he says, “someone told me.”
    And I say, “How long have you known me?”
    And he says, “It feels like forever.”
    And I say, “I think it feels like forever, too.”
    And he says, “No more questions, okay? Not right now.”
    And I remember his brother has died and so I nod okay and I stare out the window again, and when we get to the funeral parlor I stay in the car while he walks around and opens the door for me. And when he opens the door, he takes my hand and he pulls me out and then he pulls me into a hug and he hugs me like he will die without me. Like I am the only thing keeping him alive. I want to tell him the feeling is mutual but I don’t. I don’t say anything. Anything I say will come out wrong and so I don’t say anything.
    The funeral is a blur. I mean, I don’t lose time but I force myself to disassociate from my body, to lose concentration, because it’s easier to handle. This is something I’ve gotten very good at doing. I sit in the second row surrounded by strangers. Some of them look at me like they might know me, but that is how they look at everybody and nobody says hi to me. Sayer sits to the side with a man who might be his uncle, a woman who might be his grandmother. The room is small and the casket is closed. But even though it is closed I can see Lyle inside it. I can see Lyle bleeding and I can see Lyle dead. And I can see Lyle reborn and I can see Lyle flying through the air and I can see Lyle on the pavement with blood pouring out of his mouth.
    And then I can see something else. And it is like I am somewhere else and I am in my car again and I am wearing my favorite gray sweater, the one Lyle bled on. And I am driving too fast and I am looking in my rearview mirror like someone might be following me. I’m trying to lose someone. And I’m crying, but I wipe the tears away from my face and I tell myself I’ve made the right decision. But what decision have I made?
    What decision have I made?
    I am in the funeral parlor and when I wake up it’s like I’m waking up from something I have lost.
    I knew Lyle Avery.
    Lyle Avery knew me.
    I was with him before he died.
    I was with him before he got on the motorcycle.
    I knew him.
    I was with him and then I left him and I told him not to follow me.
    I told him not to follow me, but he did.
    And he tried to catch up to me and someone hit the back tire of his motorcycle and he flew over my car but it was not my fault. It was not my fault because I told him not to follow me. It was not my fault because I told him I didn’t want him to follow me.
    I get up in the middle of a eulogy. Somebody is giving a eulogy for Lyle, but if I do not get out of the room immediately, I will scream.
    In the hallway I lean against the wall and I take big giant gulps of air and I force myself to remain present. I can feel myself slipping away, but I press my hands against the wall and I want to stay here. I want to be here. I do not want to miss any more time. This is my time and I do not want to lose it.
    And of course I have never met Lyle Avery before. I have never met him before in my life.
    “Molly.”
    I open my eyes and Sayer is right in front of me.
    I say, “How did I know your brother?”
    And he says, “Let me get through today. Let me just get through today and I will explain everything.”
    But when he asks me to come inside with him, I say that I can’t. I can’t go back in there because there are too many people and the walls are