throwing Lila a bone; of course she knew Lila had always secretly lusted after Oscar and also secretly judged Teddy for being what Lila perceived as rough on him. But neither of them wanted the slightest crack of a schism between them or could afford one; even though they both had children and grandchildren and other friends, in a nearby daily sense, as someone to count on, Lila was Teddyâs mainstay, and vice versa.
âOf course,â said Lila, seeing right through her ploy and accepting it as the small peace offering it was. âAnyway, whoâs this new one?â
âHis nameâs Ralph Washington,â said Teddy. âSounded wet-lipped on the phone.â
âWhat did you think of the first one, besides the fact that he was earnest?â
âHenry Burke? In the end, I liked him. He was insulted at first that Iâd made him a tan-colored mush; then he took a couple of bites.â She paused a moment to remember something, smiled inwardly, and added dryly, âI think he fell a little in love with me, actually.â
âReally?â said Lila. âHow old is he?â
âI would say forty, maybe a little older.â
âA boy,â said Lila.
Teddy said with a gleam in her eyes, âI bet I could have seduced him.â
âHow would you know? Iâm not sure I would be able to tell such a thing at my age.â
âHe wasâ¦ripe for the taking, in a general sense, and he was surprised by his attraction to me, which is always an advantage in seduction. When a man is tipped off balance, thereâs nothing easier than knocking him over.â Teddy flicked the air with her index finger.
âDid you
want
to?â
âOnly to prove I could. And at my age, thatâs not enough of a reason.â
âAt your age, Iâd say thatâs a great reason.â
âSo I could tell you all about it over breakfast today?â
âOf course,â said Lila.
âI bet you canât wait to get these biographers to yourself.â
âOh, come on, Teddy.â
âActually, Henry didnât care for my lack of proper humble womanly devotion to Oscar any more than you ever did; it almost scotched the whole deal. But once we got off the topic of Oscar and onto the topic of his sex life, he was all mine, although he may not have realized it.â
âHis
sex
life?â Lila sputtered with laughter. âWhat did he say?â
âThat heâs married to a forty-two-year-old woman in love with her newborn baby boy. I bet they tried and tried and tried, and Henry mistook this bonanza of sex for lust for him, and once she got what she wanted, wham-o, no more blow jobs to get him hard and afternoon quickies and hot couplings at the kitchen sink. Heâs shunted aside, useless, the cast-off maleâ¦.â She stopped, went off into some private reverie again. âI know, letâs make a bet. Letâs see who can fuck a biographer first.â
Lila waved her away. âWhat are you going to cook for this second one?â
Teddy cocked her eye at Lila. âNo bet?â
âNo, no, Iâll just live vicariously through you,â said Lila, trying for light teasing, but dismayed by the edge in her voice.
âYouâre right,â said Teddy, not missing a beat. âThe whole idea is ridiculous.â
âBesides,â said Lila after a silent deep breath, âit doesnât seem right, an old woman with a much younger man. Remember that movie
Harold and Maude
? That wrinkled crone with a teenage boy. I never understood why so many people loved it.â
âMe, neither.â Teddy laughed. âBut I wouldnât mind seeing my old carcass in bed with a nubile forty-year-old bodyâ¦. For him, no doubt, it would be terrifying and distasteful, but for me it would be glorious. All the men our age are soâ¦old, arenât they? They have ear hair, their teats droop, and they look cadaverous.