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good reason to be skeptical of the theory of Intelligent Design. But ID proponents rightfully claim error or conspiracy on the part of scientists. And here’s the hitch: There is no conspiracy … but there is a conspiracy.

    Gödel’s proof of God: completely unreadable
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    The truth is that the FSM is hidden all around us. And He’s left clues like Italian-style bread crumbs to show us the path to His Eternal Noodliness. He’s in our language—every time someone tells you to use your “noodle” they’re unknowingly directing you to turn to Him for guidance. And whenever someone talks about a “consPiracy,” they’re just invoking the mischievous nature of Him and His Chosen People, the Pirates.
    But language alone isn’t undeniable proof for those skeptical scientists. 6 We need cold, hard facts. To begin, we will look at how the Evolutionary scientists try to pick apart the work of ID scientists, men like Michael J. Behe, who argues in his seminal and frequently incoherent tome,
Darwin’s Black Box: The Biochemical Challenge to Evolution
, the concept of irreducible complexity. Somewhere toward the beginning, Behe makes the following damning statement: “By
irreducibly complex
I mean a single system composed of several well-matched, interacting parts that contribute to the basic function, wherein the removal of any one of the parts causes the system to effectively cease functioning.” 7 He then goes on to talk about “Evolutionary mechanisms” and “the emergence of some complex biochemical cellular systems” and other things that, let’s face it, sound like mumbo jumbo to laymen and high school biology students. 8 But the point is that this is well-thought-out science, nearly irrefutable proof that Behe can talk like a scientist. While the Evolutionists respond with computer simulations demonstrating that it is possible for irreducible complexity to evolve naturally, I would note that it is also possible for me to use my computer to lead an entire army of samurai warriors against the greatest generals of their day. Call it a wash.
    Both sides have their points to make, but the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster proposes a simple answer that is more likely, and immensely more plausible, which is that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is altering our scientific data in an effort to mislead us. It’s not the scientists’ fault, for how could they know? The FSM is invisible and passes through normal matter with ease.
    While our theory may sound a lot like Intelligent Design, there areimportant differences between ID and FSMism, the most important being that they are wrong and we are right. But we do have some things in common, and I think it’s important that these are addressed.
    Like ID, we use a slightly nonconventional scientific method, whereby we first define our conclusion and then gather evidence to support it. Not only does this allow for a more congruous and fluid study, but it has to be said that research is much easier when you’ve already chosen your conclusion. In this regard, the ID proponents should be congratulated for their ingenuity. Where before scientists were forced to grapple with unknowns for months, or even years, they will now be able to simply choose a convenient conclusion and find evidence to support it. And to be completely honest, even though we share this new scientific methodology, the ID people must get the credit for developing it first.
    Perhaps one day soon the ID community, too, will be touched by His Noodly Appendage and join forces with the Pastafarians. The time has never been better. Indeed, we live in exciting times, when our nonconventional supernatural theories are finally being given equal credence as the natural, or “unbiased, evidence-supported” theories. We should all feel fortunate to be living in such open-minded times.
    And now, ladies and gentlemen, we have some proving to do!
    1 . See chart below.
    2 .The lone.01 percent of yeses coming from either