Iraqi contractor to haul gravel to a construction site inside Muthanna. Spreading a little U.S. taxpayer money around. Somebody must have slipped the driver the right papers. Not to mention filled him in on our entire routine.â
âWe were paying the bomber?â
âOr at least his boss. Look, you got off of this detail easy, Pulowski. Everything about the Muthanna intersection has been a clusterfuck from start to finish. Setting the cameras up yesterday was strictly a cover-your-ass project for the colonel. It didnât work. Heâs got a bigger problem on his hands now. If I were you, Iâd leave it that way.â
He smiled at the comforting Homer Simpson nihilism of McKutcheonâs advice. Heâd been called in to work intel when Alpha Company lost a tank back in January. The ambush outside Al-Shula. During all these disasters McKutcheon had talked this way.
By then heâd slipped into the battalionâs âCyber Café,â which occupied a ramshackle wood shed, and a private showed him to an ancient, clicking Acer computer, set on a long plastic folding table, bookended by a pair of palm trees. It was in the baseâs smaller public spacesâthe toilets, phone banks, and computer clustersâthat McKutcheonâs philosophy made the most sense. A half dozen soldiers hunkered around him, heads bowed, boots spread wide, postures submissiveâalready defeatedâbefore happy onscreen cornucopias of bank ads, Web graphics, and interactive news feeds. One had begun to cry, hands clutching the back of his head. All of them were or would soon be involved in the hunt for Beale, and every inch of their unhappiness could be explained and even possibly prevented by his own personal cartoon slogan: Safety Comes in Canât.
Heâd invented it in this very room, on similar nights when shit had gone bad and he had sat here trying to email his mother, staring up at a plastic banner mounted by the same geniuses whoâd named the cafeteria Camp Chillinâ:
SAFETY COMES IN CANS
I CAN
WE CAN
YOU CAN
What if somebody, somewhere, had simply argued that the safest thing was canât ? Even Senator Kerry hadnât quite had the guts. Heâd stood there, grim and hatchet-faced at the convention, watching can-do photos of his Vietnam days, and then the swift boats came and took him out. Why? Because âNam had been a great big pile of canât. As a signal officer, canât was one principle Pulowski never sold short. The other came from a book heâd read for English class at Pitt, whose touchy-feely motto heâd also Homerized: Do not connect. Both self-evident truths, nowhere more obvious than in the pleasures of the Cyber Café when shit was truly going bad. The fact that heâd never managed to convince Fowler to see any of that wasnât his responsibility.
At the same time, none of this accounted for how heâd felt when heâd watched Carl Beale disappear into that alley doorway. That was the tidal wave of stupid that heâd been counting on McKutcheon to talk him out of, its oncoming boil cold and gray, carrying with it death and rot, wreck and stink. âSo what youâre telling me,â he said, âis that we have a device that might very well ⦠no, no, no ⦠would be demonstrably helpful to our soldiers in the field. Americans. People who you and I know personally. And yet youâre lying about its readiness because ⦠why? Because weâre afraid to go outside the wire and set up the thing?â
The phone was dead by then. When he hung up, Pulowski stared for some time at the email on his screen, reading first the text, and then allowing his eyes to swim across the Kelly-green banner flashing at the top of the screen:
E * TRADEâDISCOVER THE POWER OF YOU
Also deeply stupid. Also clearly not a message designed for geeks. It wouldâve been much better if he hadnât worn the shirt.