Read The Girlfriend Project for Free Online Page B

asks quietly. "Maybe you're the best there ever was."
    I smile. "I think you get that title."
    He laughs. "I don't think so. Besides, Reed, you asked out two girls and they both said yes. You just got off the phone with
     one of them and you kicked butt."
    "But I haven't gone on the dates yet. And remember how I screwed up with Rhonda and Marsha?"
    "Forget Rhonda and Marsha. Think Sarah. Think Janet." He gets up. "I'll be at home if you need me."
    I reluctantly call Janet after Lonnie leaves. This time, the conversation is much easier. Maybe I'm getting better at this.
     Or maybe I just know Janet better. Either way, I feel okay about it. I sit on my bed and open my laptop.
    Screaming Eagle: rodger.
StudMonkey: told yoo.
Screaming Eagle: now i need 2 actually get thru these d8s.
    StudMonkey: get thru? supposed 2 be FUN.
    Screaming Eagle: RLY?
    StudMonkey: read ur list.
    I log off and take out my latest tip list.
    How to Go on a Date
    1. Do the gentleman thing and open the car door for her.
    From Lonnie:
    Wait till she's all the way inside before you shut the door or you'll be taking a short trip to the nearest hospital and spending your hot date in the emergency room.
    2. Pay for the date unless she insists.
    But if you're taking out Ponald Trump's daughter, let her pay for everything and order lobster tails and filet mignon.
    3. Don't fart, pick your snot locker, scratch, or pop zits.
    Do they think I'm a complete moron?
    4. Shave extra-extra-closely.
    Ready to have your face rubbed by soft girly-hands?
    I feel my neck go hot at that one.
    5. Trim nose hairs.
    Well, duh. Who wants to stare at nose hairs?
    6. Make sure your feet don't stink. Wear clean socks and clean underwear. Brush and floss. Trim your fingernails. And toenails.
    This is beginning to sound like Introductory Hygiene for Disgusting Boys 101 . Besides, what have my toenails got to do with anything?
    7. Wear cologne. Girls like their guy to smell good.
    Under no circumstances are you to slap your old man's Old spice anywhere on your person.
    8. Breath mints, breath mints, breath mints. You can't ever have enough breath mints.
    I go to Costco that week and buy out nearly the whole section.
    I'm taking this seriously.
    . . .
    I run into a major problem with Number 7.
    I've showered, shaved, brushed, flossed, trimmed my nose hairs, trimmed my fingernails, and trimmed my toenails for my date
     with Sarah on Friday when it dawns on me that I don't own any cologne—and I don't have time to run out and buy any.
    Red Alert! Red Alert!
    How could I have allowed this to happen?
    I've had Ronnie and Lonnie's tip list in front of my face for a week! I have no excuse for screwing this up.
    I race into my parents' bathroom with a towel wrapped around my waist and start frantically rummaging through their cabinets,
     but then I remember I'm not supposed to use anything my dad uses:
    Under no circumstances are you to slap
your old man's Old spice anywhere on your person.
    Now what?
    Heart-stopping panic washes over me.
    Should I just. . . skip it?
    But what if it's really important?
    What if it's essential?
    I have so little experience with this stuff.
    I start to feel way out of my league, biologically incapable, never going to get it. . .
    Not Good at This.
    No matter how many tip lists Ronnie and Lonnie give me.
    I should stick to what I know.
    I can't do it.
    At that moment, the telephone rings.
    "Just checking up on my favorite Jersey guy," Ronnie says pleasantly.
    I've never heard anything sweeter.
    "Idon'thaveanycologneandldon'tknowhattodo!" I blurt out in a single sentence, not sure if Ronnie will be able to decipher
     it.
    But she does, of course.
    "We're coming right over, Reed."
    I throw on a robe, make myself sit on my bed, and don't move a muscle.
    The doorbell rings. The cavalry has arrived.
    "I'll be the official sniffer," Ronnie announces as she and Lonnie rush into my room. Each of them is carrying a bunch of
     tiny bottles of different shades of glass.