Read The Girl in the Painted Caravan for Free Online Page B

killed as quickly and humanely as possible. When hunting, the men would rely on their instincts – a kind of clairvoyance, if you like – to know in which
direction to go to find food.
    Many of the dishes that Alice prepared were the same as those prepared and eaten by gorgers, but they also ate Romany-style. They often dined on freshly picked mushrooms, which tasted
unbelievably good. Moorhen, partridge and wild duck were all regularly on the menu. Pheasants are in season around Christmas time and one of Alice’s favourite recipes was to quarter an apple
and put it inside the bird, then squeeze half a lemon over the breast. On top of that went some bacon and then Alice would line a dish with bread and place the bird onto it. While it was cooking,
the juices from the bird would soak into the bread and, together with the fat from the bacon, it made it a dish fit to set before a king.
    There is another dish called Joey Grey which was a family favourite. Joey Grey, a traveller who lived many years before my grandparents, is supposed to have concocted it when he fell on hard
times. Funny to think, then, that years later we all considered it a real treat. Alice would fry onions, to which water and salt and pepper would be added. She would then throw some sliced potatoes
into the frying pan, until the water was just covering them, and simmer them until the potatoes were cooked. A gravy flavouring would then be added and, when it was ready, thick bread and butter
would be dipped into it. Delicious and warming, it would set them up ready for a hard day’s toil. Today, most Romany families make it with Oxo and Bisto and may add some steak or sausage to
give the meal more substance. I don’t think old Joey Grey ever realised how famous he would become for his pauper’s dish and that people would go on to enjoy the meal which was named
after him even into the twenty-first century.
    My family would also pick nettles to make tea (which was meant to be good for the liver) and the men would make beer from them, using the nettle tops. I never drank it as I was growing up, but
I’ve been told that it tastes remarkably like Champagne!
    When the boys were not around, Mummy and her sisters would apply Fuller’s earth, mixed into a paste with some lemon juice and water, to their skin as a face pack. They would clean the skin
with witch hazel and apply the paste, leaving it on until it dried like mud, and then use witch hazel again to clean it off.
    For their hair, they would use a couple of ounces of rosemary spikes, a couple of ounces of a herb called southernwood, the same of red sage and an ounce of bay leaves, all soaked in boiling
water and mixed together. The water was then massaged into the scalp morning and night for thick, full hair.
    All these treatments were passed down through the generations, and continue to be now, and I remember one particularly unusual one for warts. They would steal a bit of meat from the Sunday joint
and rub it on the wart, after which they would bury the meat in the ground. The idea was that as the meat rotted, the wart would drop off. I’ve got no idea how this works, but I can assure
you it does!
    Romanies have always been known for their ability to cure all ills using concoctions made only from what nature has to offer, and through the ages gorgers have turned to us for help with curing
all sorts of problems. But one evening when Naughty was in the pub and had been getting sick of the locals asking him for advice for their ailments when he just wanted to have a relaxing drink
after a long day on the road, one of the regulars approached him, complaining about his problem with baldness.
    ‘I’ll tell you the real secret to growing your hair back,’ Naughty said with a wry smile. ‘Fresh cow dung, strained off. Why don’t you get some for yourself and rub
it into your hair every morning?’
    With this, Naughty downed the rest of his drink, turned on his heels and walked back to his