Read The Girl in the Comfortable Quiet for Free Online Page B

party.”
    Linda makes a sigh that sounds like a frustrated
growl. “It’s already blown over. I doubt Manny even remembers it. Guys get over
things. Or is there some other reason you won’t talk to him even though you obviously
want to?”
    Direct hit. “No other reason.” I somehow manage
to say that with sincere calm.
    Linda shakes her head, exasperated, then rummages
in her bag again. She mumbles, “I’ve been debating how and if I should give
this to you. But you opened the door on your own, Chrissie. So you pretty much
decided for me.”
    She dumps a gaily wrapped present on my lap.
Every muscle in my body tenses. Violet ribbon.
    “Don’t stare at it like it’s going to bite you.
How small can you be?” Irritated, she pops a cigarette in her mouth and lights
it. “It’s a present for Kaley. Manny gave it to me to give to you. I didn’t
think it was smart to do that at the party. I’m not sure it was smart to do it
now.”
    So much is running through me. I’m afraid to open
it, even though my finger disobeys my will by tracing over Kaley’s name written
on the envelope in Alan’s handwriting. I’m touched and knocked off my feet
simultaneously by the gesture. A part of me is desperate to see what he sent
and a part of me says don’t do it, Chrissie.
    Why would Alan send a gift for Kaley? Suspicion
and fear push in on me, making it almost impossible to breathe.
    “Just open it, Chrissie,” Linda says, annoyed and
impatient. “It’s not going to be anything awful. Manny is very appropriate at
gift giving.”
    I gnaw on my lower lip. Linda’s right. I’m
behaving stupidly. I pull free the card from beneath the ribbon and carefully
open the flap. Something falls into my lap as I read the note inside. One
sentence. May every day of your life be filled with happiness and joy—Alan .
    The lump in my throat is strangling. The fear
that this is not a meaningless gesture consumes me.
    Linda makes a husky laugh. I look at her. She’s
holding whatever it is that fell into my lap, staring at it and shaking her
head.
    She hands it to me and I go numb. A check? The
amount alone is suggestive, and even if Linda is thoroughly amused by this,
there is nothing funny about it.
    “Kaley’s first check—” Linda’s laughter
intensifies. “—but I don’t think you should put that in the baby’s first
moments book. Jeez, how ridiculous. He made it out to her, like an infant has
ID and is born with a bank account.”
    My heart is pounding quickly to the point the
blood is gushing through my ears, blocking out Linda’s words. Alan sent a
check. Jack’s voice whispers in my memory, from that long ago phone call in New
York when he ordered me not to accept the cello from Alan. “ Manny is in a
rough place. He needs to learn new habits. The only way he will ever learn to
deal with his issues is if the people around him don’t let him buy his way out
of them. ”
    I can’t take in air. The earth has fallen away
beneath me. And Linda is still mindlessly droning on.
    “He sent one for Bobby, too, when he found out we
were adopting. He sends a check every birthday and Christmas to Pat and Jimmy’s
little ones also. Ridiculous amounts. Sweet and thoughtful, don’t you think?”
    Bobby? Pat’s little ones? The
rampant emotion coursing through me stills. Is this just some Alan ritual? Am I
being hyper-reactive and overly paranoid? Maybe the check means nothing.
    As if Linda knows the moment everything inside me
calms, she smiles. “Aren’t you going to open the gift? The gifts are always so amusing, like he thinks kids are nothing more than mini thirty-year-olds.”
    Linda sounds normal, like this is no big deal. I
carefully remove the ribbon and then the wrap. I study the book, every detail.
My insides are frantic and loose again.
    Linda’s eyes fly wide. “Is that a first edition?”
    I nod. Collector condition. First edition. Alice
in Wonderland. My favorite. I don’t even remember telling him that, but