Read The Ghost Shrink, the Accidental Gigolo & the Poltergeist Accountant for Free Online Page B

anything to you! You’re already dead.”
    “You don’t know Big Joe.”
    “I’m pretty sure he’s not God, Eliot,” Jake growled.
    “No, he’s the devil.”
    “He’s a small-time mafioso with psychopathic tendencies and delusions of grandeur, and as his former accountant—”
    “Hey, who said I was former?”
    “You’re dead, Eliot. Big Joe killed you. Get it through your head. As I was saying, as his former accountant, you are in a unique position to put him away for the rest of his life. And you don’t even have to confront him. You can be the chicken-shit coward you are and still do your part for justice. All you have to do is tell me where Joe Morrissey’s financial records are.”
    “And you’ll do what?”
    “I’ll turn them over to the Organized Crime Task Force. The cops can’t very well say they got tipped off by a dead guy, but if I get Morrissey’s books for them, they won’t look a gift mobster in the mouth. So where are they, Eliot?”
    “What about Candy?”
    “I’ll do what I can to make sure she’s prosecuted for your murder.”
    Eliot was shaking his head before Jake finished speaking. “I don’t want her to suffer.”
    Lucy couldn’t stay quiet any longer. “Eliot, she murdered you!”
    “Yeah, but she also, you know.” Eliot made a crude gesture with his hands. “I appreciate that.”
    “She only slept with you so she could kill you!” Lucy protested.
    “Yeah, but she still slept with me. She shouldn’t be punished for that.”
    “She should be punished for murder !”
    “It wasn’t her idea,” Eliot pouted. “I’m sure she didn’t want to. It was Big Joe.”
    Lucy couldn’t help but roll her eyes. There were some things about men she would never understand. “Then will you let Jake put Big Joe in jail? Please, Eliot, tell him where to find Big Joe’s books.”
    Eliot blinked at her limpidly. “For you, Lucy. I’ll do it for you.”
    Jake rolled his eyes so hard he nearly fell off his chair. “Well? Come on, Romeo, where are they?”
    Eliot sniffed indignantly, but when Lucy smiled encouragingly, he said, “There’s a warehouse. Big Joe keeps all of his records there. There will be more than enough evidence to convict him.”
    “Where is it?” Jake demanded.
    Eliot rattled off an address and Jake was on his feet before he finished. “I’m going to check it out.” He pointed a warning finger at the ghost. “No transcending until I get back. You got that, Romeo? I don’t trust you not to send me off on some wild goose chase, only to skip off to the afterlife while I’m off chasing my own ass.”
    After the front door slammed behind Jake, Lucy sent Eliot a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry we can’t work on resolving your issues until he gets back. I know you must be eager to move on.”
    “Not really.”
    Lucy’s attention snapped to lock on him. “Not really?”
    Eliot shrugged. “I don’t care if I ever transcend. Why would I want to? I love you, Lucy. I want to stay with you. Forever.”
    Forever . Lucy had a sudden vision of spending the rest of her life sexually frustrated because a neurotic, possessive poltergeist wouldn’t let a real man near her. It was not a happy vision.
    Knowing precisely how powerful Eliot was, she didn’t want to piss him off, but neither was she going to promise him a lifetime. Or deathtime. Whatever. They needed to get back on professional footing.
    “Eliot,” she began slowly, but he cut her off.
    “We’re meant to be together, Lucy. Can’t you feel it?” He was glowing more brightly, giving off little pulses of energy that shivered across her skin, raising goosebumps on her arms. He shoved back his chair and walked toward her—no wispy floating for Eliot Mellman. He ran his fingers along her jaw and Lucy fought not to shudder. His touch was freezing, like an icy caterpillar crawling across her skin.
    She swallowed her nausea. “Eliot, it’s natural to want to cling to life. Your attachment to me is