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terrible clarity that they aren't true. Kaiya and her father are a family, as my Sisters and I are. They love each other, as Adar and I do.
    I walk slowly up the hill to the remains of my mother's pyre. It is only bits of blackened wood now, but I can still see her body as it caught fire. There, I make my decision.
    "I’m going to sleep," I tell Adar after picking at my dinner.
    She glances up from her plate, concern in her eyes. We usually spend the evening hours in the great hall with our Sisters, playing games or listening to music or stories.
    "Are you ill?"
    "No, only tired."
    She presses my hand with hers. "Sleep well, then, sister."
    I cannot share what I will do. Adar cannot be involved. I only hope she can forgive me if she finds out.
    With measured footsteps and a wildly beating heart, I leave the hall and walk toward the children's compound. I know the guards' schedules. I know when they will leave the back wall of the compound unprotected.
    Huddled into a gathering of trees, I wait until they disappear around the corner, then I slither up and over the back wall. The scent of the bushes planted around the inside—wintersweet and roses—is intimately familiar. Climbing to the attic is not so easy as it once was, when I was half the height and weight I am now, but there's a reason I was chosen to be a Gatherer. My fingers and toes find purchase where few others could.
    I squeeze through the hole below the roof, grateful it is still there, and crawl across the beams to the attic door. Slowly, slowly, I inch it open and lower my head to peer into the gloom of the girls' bedroom. A single candle burns at the far end.
    Rows of beds line the space, just as they did when I slept here. It could be Brande, or Adar, or me down there. One of the girls sobs softly into her pillow, her body shaking under the covers .
    Easing myself down, I drop to the stone floor with a gentle thud. I freeze, listening for the Teachers who sleep in the next room or the guard who will be in the anteroom by the main door. There is no sound. Even the crying has stopped.
    I walk down the row and search the girls’ faces until I find Kaiya . My blade is at my waist, as always, and I consider stinging her. It would be simpler to move through the Cloister if she must obey me, but I want her to make her own choice. The choice I denied her when I took her from her home.
    I kneel beside her bed. Only her tear-strewn face is visible above the covers. She looks terrible: thin and sallow, her hair a tangle.
    "Kaiya, your father is here, outside the walls. Would you like to return home with him?"
    Her watering eyes open wide. "Yes."
    "Then come with me, and be silent."
    She sits up, slips on her shoes, and tiptoes after me, back along the rows of beds and sleeping girls. I am fortunate the Teachers work them to exhaustion in their training.
    Crouching, I put my hands together and boost Kaiya into the attic. I slide a chair under the opening to help myself up, and I leave it there. It must look like Kaiya escaped on her own. If there is suspicion that she had help, someone will think of me. I am willing to take that risk. If I’m to live with myself, I must do this.
    We slip outside. I jump to the ground and catch Kaiya, helping her keep her feet. A strenuous scramble later, we lie along the top of the outside wall as I used to when I was her age, watching for my mother. The moon above has not changed in all these years. How am I so different?
    The guard walks past us on the ground, but she does not continue around the wall as she should. Instead she comes back our way. I touch Kaiya's arm, willing her to keep still and quiet.
    The footsteps slow as they approach. They turn one way, then another, eventually stopping under us. A torch waves around, throwing its light wide. I grit my teeth. Was the ground soft or muddy when I came over the wall? Did I leave footprints in my hurry?
    I hold my breath, hoping the rhythmic sounds of the night will