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this bond as we talk. I get to see his goofy, cocky, playful side along with his serious, concerned, looking for advice side. I get the feeling he rarely shares the latter with anyone.  It makes me feel important, needed.  By now, he knows most of my secrets as well. I know I should be meeting other people, but I’ve become content with just hanging with Deanna, not to mention, Luke and Mikey when they’re around.
    It’s right before the Fourth of July and all I keep hearing about is how this is the last week before the ‘Shoobies’ come down for the remainder of the summer and take over their beaches. Laughing, Deanna explains to me how every summer their beach and town gets invaded by ‘Shoobies’, aka, the “tourists.” I guess that’s what I am, a ‘Shoobie,’ since I’m originally from Philly. I didn’t realize they had a name for us.
    “Hey, I was thinking, I might come with you to the beach today if you’re still going?” I say to Deanna as she sits down on my bed.  The look on her face makes me laugh.
    “Are you serious? Did I just hear you right? You know there will be other people there besides me, right?” she jokes.             
    “I know. I want to go.” I smile at her sarcasm.
    “Great, now I can finally see one of those new bathing suits on you. All that time shopping and I still haven’t seen any of your new clothes.”
    “I know, but I wasn’t going to wear them just sitting around the house.”
    “Great. Get ready. We’ll catch the bus at twelve thirty. I’m so happy that you are coming with me today. I’ve been waiting for you to come around!” She gives me a squeeze as she heads out the door.
    “I’ll be over as soon as I’m ready,” I call out as she is leaving.
    As I walk back in my room, I sit down on my bed, deciding what I should wear and what I should bring. This is my first trip to the beach without my parents and my mom always packed us up for the beach.
    I can hear the sound of the lawn mower out back so I rush outside to get my dad's opinion. He turns off the mower when he sees me.
    “I think I’m going to the beach with Deanna today, she’s meeting up with her friends.” The look on his face tells me that he is pleased that I’m finally venturing off our street. “What should I bring?”
    Pausing, he seems as clueless as me. “I have no idea, Mommy always brought everything. She has a whole closet full of stuff up there. Go look around. You’ll figure it out.” As I race up the steps, I think about how he sometimes talks about her as if she is still here. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not, but who am I to judge how he copes.
    I haven’t been in my dad’s closet since the first day we moved in. I can’t help thinking that it is a little funny and sad how he has everything set up the same way it had been in our old house. My mom’s clothes hang exactly the same way and the shelves are stacked just as they were before.
    I look through the racks of her clothes. She had some really nice things. I’m just about the same size as her now. I could probably wear a lot of these things. As I make my way back to the beach gear, I come across a black mesh beach bag, a silvery looking one, a few different cover ups, bathing suits and beach towels.
    I grab a couple of things and head back to my room where I start trying to figure out which bathing suit should I wear? I choose the turquoise bathing suit that De had picked out, thinking it will look good with the tan I have going. I can carry the silvery beach bag, wear my silver flip flops and I think the sheer white sleeveless hooded cover-up with the drawstring waist will look nice. I leave my hair down. I think it makes me look older when I wear it down now that it’s past my shoulders. I put a little hair product in and scrunch it so that it is wavy. I forget when the last time I painted my toenails was. I find a pretty reddish pink color and quickly throw on a coat.
    My heart is