Read The Future of Our Past (The Remembrance Trilogy) for Free Online Page B

keeping me awake into the wee hours of the morning. My body throbbed painfully at her nearness.
    Julia tossed and turned, too…until she finally fell into an exhausted sleep. I listened to her breathing and could feel the heat from her body calling to me as I watched her sleep. I ached to reach out and brush her hair back or touch the soft skin on her arm. She was so beautiful and soft, so warm and vulnerable.
    Needless to say, I lived on coffee and Diet Coke. Julia slept in the car and I teased her at the unfairness of it.
    “Suck it up, Matthews. I can’t help your hormones,” she rolled her eyes at me and then grinned as she looked out the window. She knew exactly how she affected me.
    In the apartment, Julia slept on the couch and, even though she wasn’t in the same bed, she was only a few feet away. I longed to go to her as I lay awake in my bed going over the events of the past week…most of all, the last couple of days as the end of our time together ebbed closer.
    I turned on my side and punched my pillow, trying to find a position that would help me fall asleep.
    Julia had agreed to look for a job in New York, but that didn’t mean it would happen. There was still a good chance that she’d end up far away and the possibility was eating away at me.
    We took time off from unpacking, taking the train from Boston down to New York City and ran around Manhattan sight-seeing and looking in all types of interesting stores. We found a small coffee shop on the East Side where we stopped before spending most of the day in Central Park. If Julia was able to get a job here, this would be the part of town where her office would most likely be located so I wanted to get her acclimated and see how she liked it. Truthfully, the thought of her in New York, alone, worried me.
    As we strolled leisurely around the city, we talked about Harvard and my class schedule, Julia’s dream job and what companies she’d be applying to in New York. We talked about our parents, and spent a lot of time reliving some of our special times together at Stanford. She asked me what type of specialty I wanted to go into and pushed me to think about it in depth. I wasn’t positive yet, but knew I wanted to go into surgery or trauma medicine.
    The one topic we avoided was our feelings for each other. It hung over us like an unspoken storm, but I was enjoying the day and didn’t want to ruin it by forcing the topic, even though I ached to tell her I was in love with her.
    Our time together made it clear that I could not contemplate the future without her in it. The most immediate future consisted of her getting on a plane and flying away from me.
    I gave up trying to sleep and pushed out of bed. I went into the hallway and stopped to listen for signs of Julia sleeping.
    I heard her soft voice calling out. “Ryan? Is that you?”
    I walked the short distance into the living room. I stopped in front of where she sat and took in her shorts and t-shirt, her wild bed hair and the sparkling eyes looking up at me.
    “Yeah. I can’t sleep.”
    She smiled. “Well at least it’s not your hormones this time.”
    “Isn’t it?” I asked softly as I touched a finger to her chin.
    “Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea for me to come here.”
    “Yes, it was…” I said quietly, took her hand and pulled her up from the couch and down the hall, back to my room.
    “Ryan…I.” she whispered as I took her in my room and shut the door behind us. I could feel her tremble beside me.
    Still holding her hand, the mattress gave beneath my weight and I pulled her down next to me. She sat, cross legged facing me and I took both of her hands in one of mine, cupping her cheek with the other. She felt so soft…
    “Julia…these last four years…” I began to speak but she pulled one hand from mine and pressed two fingers to my lips.
    “Don’t say something you’ll regret, Ryan. I’m…scared. So scared of losing your friendship.”
    I sucked in my breath.