will allow me to be used though, will you not? You will allow me to
be taken advantage of by disgusting old men, and paraded around like a lovely
doll. You will allow me to prostitute myself to the King of England, to be
sent for to share his bed like any common whore off the streets!”
I realised that was the absolute longest sentence I had ever spoken in my life
and wondered where the words had come from. Perhaps they had been
building up for so long that they came out of their own accord.
My uncle did not look shocked, just pleased. A little smile started to
form on his lips.
“The King? The King has sent for you to lie with
him?”
“A long time ago, yes.”
“Just once?” He sounded disappointed at
that. “What did you do to disappoint him? You could have asked
favours, titles.”
Titles for himself he meant.
“I did nothing, just as I had been taught. Lie still and suffer for their
pleasure.” He flinched then, but said no more. “Would
you perhaps have me deceive the King into believing that I might produce a son,
just like you deceived Lord Connaught ?”
He sighed and shook his head.
“I will not allow you passage to France,” he said at last. “It
is not what my sister would have wanted.”
“What do you care? How do you know what my mother might have
wanted? You did not even know her, did not bother to find out about her
suffering.”
“The King has dissolved all the abbey lands. It would not be a good
reflection on our family if you were to go to France to join one. It could
be dangerous.”
“For you, maybe. Not for me; I would be safe in France!”
I turned and fled the room in tears. This had been my only hope that I
might not have to attend the baptism celebrations, that I would not be required
to go to court and perhaps attract the attention of yet another lecherous
man. Perhaps I could feign illness.
When I got home my manservant told me that I had a visitor.
“The Earl of Summerville is here to see you, My Lady,” he said.
“The Earl of who ?”
Of course he did not reply but took my cloak and turned away, while I stood and
wondered what sort of man had been sent to meet me this time. I would not
marry this one, no matter what the King said. I was supposed to consent
to a marriage, that was the law, but what chance had I of refusing if the King
ordered it? The punishment for disobeying would be great indeed.
While I stood I remembered the endless nights with Lord Connaught ,
my night with the King and the pain involved in both. I remembered my tenth
birthday, and tears sprang to my eyes. I wanted desperately to turn and
run from the house, but I had nowhere to go. I took a deep breath and
steeled myself to walk into the chamber and meet this man, and discover what he
wanted from me.
The man who quickly got to his feet when I appeared was not at all what I had
been expecting. He was young for one thing, not much older than me, and
pleasing to look upon with his dark hair and eyes.
He approached me and bowed over the hand I presented to him then he looked up
quickly as I shrank away and immediately released me. He smiled then, and it
was not a smile I had ever seen directed at me before, not a smile of lasciviousness nor of satisfaction, not even a smile of
admiration. It was a smile of delighted pleasure, of real warmth.
“My Lady,” he said gently. “His Majesty has asked me to present myself to
you as a possible escort to the celebrations for the Prince’s birth. I am
told that you have no male relative to accompany you.”
“That is kind of you, My Lord,” I replied nervously.
“Not kind at all,” he insisted. “My wife is unable to attend and I am
only too happy to assist a beautiful woman.”
I stiffened as the words