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I’m sorry to call you so late, but I really just need a minute. This is important.”
    “Aw’ight, Bishop. Hold on a second.” I knew he’d covered up the phone because the background noise disappeared. But he came back right away. “What’s on your mind, Bishop?”
    Now that I was on the spot, I was at a loss for words. Having lustful thoughts was one thing, but expressing them to someone else, whether he’s your best friend or not, was another.
    “Bishop, you there?”
    “Yes, James, I’m here.” I took a deep breath before I spoke. “What do you think about me seeing Monique Johnson?”
    His answer did not come as quickly as I thought it would.
    “Are you talking about big-tittie Monique Johnson?” James finally asked.
    “That’s not very nice, James. And I think you know who I’m talking about. There’s only one Monique Johnson that we both know.”
    I could hear him sigh into the phone, and I knew his answer before he spoke. “Are we talking about seeing her behind closed doors or publicly?”
    I did not like the way he asked his question, nor did I like his tone.
    “Publicly, of course.”
    “What are you, crazy?” he hollered into the phone. “Do you have any idea what that woman could do to your career as bishop of our church? If you have a death wish, Bishop, why don’t you just put a fucking gun to your head? It’d be a lot quicker.” I had to hold the phone away from my ear. I’d never heard him speak to me like this.
    “What exactly is that supposed to mean? She’s a good Christian woman, James.”
    “Yeah, she’s a good Christian woman, all right—with a reputation for screwing every man with
Deacon
or
Trustee
in front of his name. And now it looks like she’s set her sights on one with
Bishop
in front of his name.”
    “Oh, really?” I snapped. “Have you slept with her? ‘Cause everyone knows you’re the biggest male whore in our church.” I regretted the words as soon as I uttered them. What was it about this woman, whose reputation was every bit as bad as James said it was, that made me jump to her defense so quickly? True, as a man of God, I would defend any member of my congregation against unproven rumors, but perhaps not as vigorously as I was defending Sister Monique. Something about her intrigued me, and it was more than just her shapely figure. I would need some time to sort out these feelings.
    There was silence on the line for a few seconds. I knew I’d hurt James’s feelings.
    “I resent that, Bishop,” James finally replied. “And no, I haven’t slept with her.”
    “My point exactly. So what makes you think everyone else has?”
    “I hear things, Bishop. People talk.”
    This time I chuckled. “They talk about you, James, but that doesn’t stop me from hanging around you. What did I tell you about listening to unfounded rumors? Even if they did sleep with her, what self-respecting deacon or trustee would go around bragging he’d slept with Sister Johnson? I hate to say this, James, but I’m pretty sure this rumor was started by my wife … God rest her soul. Sister Johnson and Charlene never got along. Matter of fact, Charlene hated her.”
    “Nonetheless, Bishop, the rumors are still planted inside the heads of the women in the church. Showing up with her at church one Sunday would be like dropping an atom bomb on Manhattan. Nothing will ever be the same.”
    “Well, then I guess I’ve got something to think about, don’t I?”
    “T.K., as your friend, I’m telling you right now, don’t do anything stupid. If you wanna roll in the hay with Monique for a little while, I’ll point everyone in the opposite direction. But you can’t take that woman out in public.”
    “Can’t—” I stopped myself before I spoke to my friend more harshly than I wanted. “You know what, James? I’m gonna say good evening. And in the future, don’t tell me what I can or cannot do!” I hung up the phone angrily.
    I was tempted to call him back. I