Polly,and I’m thankful for that. Now that you’ve done it, I’m going to get a divorce.”
Polly rubbed her head as though it hurt. “Well, I’m not going to talk you out of it. You deserve a lot more than this.”
Dora shook her head, torn between annoyance at herself and irritation at Polly’s taking it so calmly. “Everything dropped into place when you told me about Mrs. Gerber asking if I was a reliable cook and housekeeper. I’ve really known all along that’s what Jared wanted, just someone to cook and keep house, so he could move into his own place without sacrificing any of the comforts of home. I’ve known it, but I haven’t dealt with it. I’ve been acting as though I’d been hypnotized.” She giggled helplessly. “Maybe he put some kind of spell on me.”
“Be thankful it didn’t last. I don’t suppose there’s any possibility you’re pregnant? It could foul things up if you are.”
She would never have confessed it to anyone but Polly. “Giving Jared CPR the other night was as close as I’ve ever come to kissing him. There’s no possibility I’m pregnant. The very idea scares me. I don’t want to end up like Mother.”
Polly hugged her. “Well, for heaven’s sake, Dora, nobody has to have nine children, one right after the other. Mother did that because it was easier than thinking, that’s all. If Mama and Daddy had been able to think, they’d have known it was selfish and wrong and they wouldn’t have done it!”
“I know that. Intellectually I know it. Emotionally, though, what I remember is the mess and the confusion and nothing ever getting done. The clothes piled on the floor because no one put them away. The messy beds. The dirt in the corners, the cobwebs. The dirty plates all over the house. The smell of rotten food in the refrigerator. The cat poop in the back hall. The lawn that died because nobody watered it. The dead houseplants. I used to try, when I was there, but I couldn’t do it. I rememberhow Mama and Dad looked at each other, that steamy look. And then the noises from the bedroom….” She laughed, embarrassed. “And then afterward, all that luxuriating, mindless lethargy.” She shook her head, amazed at herself.
“So, when you leave Jared, where are you going? An apartment, maybe?”
She thought about it. “I don’t want an apartment. I need more privacy than that. I think a house. I’ve worked since I was eighteen, and I’ve saved some every year. Then I’ve got my share of the money we got for the farm when we sold it. I’ve got almost enough for a house of my own.”
“You want me to stay and help you look?”
Dora came back to herself and considered the offer. “Polly, sweetie, I think you’ve hung around here long enough. I think you ought to go on and have your vacation; you’ve earned it. My friend Loulee’s dying for a chance to be useful. And Charlene Dermot, Phil’s wife, is a realtor. Between the two of them, they’ll find me a place.”
Polly said she’d leave the day after next; and while she was on the phone making reservations, Helen Gerber rang the doorbell. Dora asked her in, not too politely.
Jared’s mother flushed, then fixed her eyes on the carpet. “I know you were upset with me the other day. I didn’t mean you, you know. When I said it was that woman’s fault—”
“Well, who the hell else did you mean?” Dora wasn’t in a mood to be forgiving. “You said the woman he married—”
“He was married before. To that Dionne girl, the slut.”
Dora’s mouth fell open. “Married? Jared?”
“She wasn’t even old enough to get married, only fifteen, but he ran off with her. First I knew of it was when he called me and said he’d run off with her and gotten married. I had to tell her mother, and she cursed him up one side and down the other and me, too. Shesaid Jared had interfered with the girl, that he’d have to pay for it someday. Then when I told her I was having the marriage annulled, she