seat and put his arms around her and pulled her close. He hugged her very hard. He said, “It’s different than I thought it would be.”
She felt that he was grabbing at everything. It was as if the world was just out of reach of his fingers. She said, “Don’t rush so, Gary. You’ve got time. You’ve got so much time.” He said, “I haven’t. I’ve lost it. I can’t make those years up.”
“Well,” she told him, “maybe you can’t, but you have to put it behind you. If you take one step at a time, you’ll find yourself a woman, and some kids. You can still have it all.”
“You’re not going to see me again, are you?” he asked.
She said, “Yes, I will, if you want me to.”
He kissed her, but it was forced. Then he pushed her away and held her by the shoulders and looked at her, one hand on each shoul der.
He said, “I’m sorry. I’ve messed this up, haven’t I?”
She said, “No, you haven’t, Gary. I’ll see you again.” She took a little church key they had been using to open their beers that eve ning, and now gave it to him and he thanked her. Lu Ann said, “If you need someone to talk to, my phone is open 24 hours a day, Gary.”
THE FIRST WEEK 3ip>
He got out of the car and said, “I’m sorry. I’ve muffed it all.” Added, “Vern’s going to be awful mad at me.”
Vern, in fact, was up when Gary came through the door, and they talked about the evening. It was Vern’s impression that Gary might have been too forceful
“You just don’t,” Vern explained, “try to do everything the first time on a date. You find out about each other.”
Gary started hitting on the beer in the refrigerator. Vern didn’t have to be told Gary had been through a few already.
“Gary,” Vem said, “are you going to shape up, or am I going to have to knock you on your ass?”
“What are you going to do?” asked Gary.
“I’m going to have to do it.”
“Aren’t you afraid of me?” Gary asked.
“No,” said Vern, “why should I be?” In his gentlest voice, he said, “I can whip you,”
Gary’s face lit up as if for the first time he felt like they wanted him in this house.
“Aren’t you afraid?” he asked again.
“No,” said Vern, “I’m not. I hope that doesn’t sound crazy.” They both began to laugh.
Gary looked around the morn and said to Vern, “This is what I want.”
“Yeah,” said Vern, “what do you want?”
“Well, I want a home,” said Gary. “I want a family. I want to live like other people live.”
Vern said, “You can’t have that in five minutes. You can’t have it in a year. You’ve got to work for it.”
Gary tried to call Lu Ann in the morning, but she wasn’t there, and left a message.
By the time Lu Ann called the shop, he was out.
32
[ THE EXECUTIONER’S SONG
Sterling Bker took the call. Gary, he told her, had gone up the road to some bar.
“Oh, Sterling,” said Lu Ann, “please explain to him that I’m his friend. I really wasn’t here when he called. But I did try to get back to him.”
Sterling said he’d tell Gary. Lu Ann never did hear from him.
Gary returned to the shop for a couple of hours and seemed sober. It was payday, but Vern had advanced him money, so there wasn’t anything due. When Gary said he was short, however, Vern slipped him a ten, and said, “Gary, if you don’t think this job is going o to be right for you, let me know. We’ll find something else.”
Gary was invited to dinner that night at Sterling Baker’s house. He made quite an impression on Sterling’s wife, Ruth Ann, by playing with the baby for a long while. Since he liked the music on the radio, he bounced the baby in time to Country-and-Western. Johnny Cash, it came out in conversation, was his all-time favorite. One time he got out of jail and spent an entire day listening to nothing but Johnny Cash records.
How long had he been in prison altogether? Ruth Ann wanted