many times has Toula heard that same sigh as Alyssia grew from a child to the rebellious teenager that she became, over promises made to her and then broken by Apostolis when she was so little. Simple things such as going for a walk, playing ball. Then there were the possibilities she discovered through her friends when at school; ball parks, water parks, dancing lessons, all of which filled her little heart with such joy, only to have a smoothing rug of procrastination thrown over them by Apostolis. The practicalities of going, the procrastination of paying for lessons, the organising of lifts, the scheduling of time—all being put off until it was clear that for her, such things would never be. Over and over, Alyssia had her hopes dashed until she almost had no hope left at all. Her rebelling in her teenage years shocked Apostolis, but Toula understood. She, too, had promises dashed. Promises of travel, of working together, of doing up their village house, spending time together, him not going to Athens so often, leaving her alone, moving back to the village once they were retired, travelling once they were retired, visiting Alyssia in England as well as all the little everyday things he promised and never fulfilled. Coffee in the square that never happened. Friends round for dinner who were never invited. New shutters that would open that were never ordered. Air conditioning units that never materialised. None of it from a lack of money.
'Alyssia, listen. I am coming.' Toula speaks firmly. 'I, me, your mama, Toula. I am coming. Just me alone. This is not to do with your Baba.'
'Thank you, Mama, but we both know how he is.' Alyssia sounds defeated. The anger within Toula that has been sitting somewhere inside her solar plexus since talking to Juliet rears up and tightens across her chest. It stiffens her jaw and her teeth clench. She is not going to let her daughter down, not now, and not ever again.
'I will tell you how it is. When I close the phone to you and your baba has fallen sleeping, I go to the travel peoples and I take a ticket.' Her English is falling to pieces with the speed she is talking, but she does not care.
'But Mama, how will you get to the airport?'
'The railway line to Corinth is open now, so there is trains all the way. A taxi to take me to the station. It is not difficult.' As she says the words, the anger changes to fear and then back to anger again. She will go. Women her age travel the world over all the time. Thousands have done it before her, and thousands will do it after her. If she can give birth with no help, she can take a plane to London.
'Mama, do you want me to send you some money?'
Toula knows why Alyssia has asked. Ever since Apostolis squeezed her out of their building business after Alyssia was born, even though their wealth was growing, he took tighter and tighter control over the money. All through Alyssia’s life, if money was needed, it involved a lengthy explanation to Baba and an account of it once it was spent. Toula explained to Alyssia that it was because they were brought up poor farmers in a rural village but even when she said it, she knew it was not the real truth.
Apostolis liked the control. He still likes the control.
Sure, she gets housekeeping money, but Apostolis collects the receipts. They do have a joint bank account and in theory she can draw money out, but in all their married life, she has never done this.
Perhaps this is something she should do. It would be better to do it now and learn how it is done than wait until a time that forces her to learn.
Kyria Zephyria, from the village, after her husband died, had her electricity cut off before she dared go to the bank and take out some money. How poor Zephyria must have worried. She never said anything at the funeral or any time after. She must have thought she was going to starve to death. All for not knowing what to do and say in the bank.
Toula smooths the bedspread on either side of where she is
C. J. Valles, Alessa James