Read The Dreamer for Free Online Page A

his short, cropped hair and then down his face. He finally answered, “I wear it to remind me.”
    “Remind you? Of what?”
    He struggled with what to say. And then he answered, his words touched with impatience. “Miss Madera, surely you understand religion.”
    “Do you wear it to remind you of your sins?” I asked snidely.
    “Yes,” he answered. It really cannot be a surprise that my insinuation was lost on him.
    “To keep you comfortable and protected and guided and all that? Is that what you believe?”
    He paused and then asked, “What do you believe in, Miss Madera?”
    “Facts,” I answered aggressively. “I believe in logic, reason, the scientific method.” I looked out onto the ocean and continued, “And I believe in the universe. In order. The elements. I believe there is a sort of fate in evolution, I guess.”
    There was a pause as he watched me, and then he said, “You make life sound like a mathematical equation. But there be things reason can’t explain. Not human reasoning. The most important things, I believe. And there’s weakness and pain and regret.”
    I replied pointedly, “And what do you regret, Mr. Finley?”
    He looked away and said quietly, “So many things.” He touched his cross again.

Chapter Five

    Notes: Satisfied with research despite unpleasant setback. Information abundant and exhilarating. Attempt at communicating an expression of grief for tragic personal loss a success. Captain pleased.
    Suspicion that preparatory education was insufficient, confirmed. Vast knowledge still elusive. Much still to learn – even here, where information is considerably limited.
     
     
    When Captain Tucker opened his eyes days later, I was waiting for him. I had been browsing through his books, but having some difficulty in concentrating on them.
    He woke up with a start. “Miss Madera?” he exclaimed sharply.
    “Yes, Captain?” I hurried to him. “What is it?”
    “You are unharmed?”
    “I’m fine. What is the matter?”
    “It must have been a dream, I … there was a fight ….”
    “Everything is alright. Do you worry for me even in your sleep?”
    He put a hand to his head. “You’ve plagued my life out since I fished you from the ocean.”
    I grew very solemn as I watched him suffer from his illness– an illness most likely brought on by the necessity of sleeping on the cold floor.
    Something must have shown on my face because his brows came down. “What is it?”
    Keeping my gaze on him, I tried to scoot forward, but I couldn’t because the chair was attached to the floor. I was heading into unfamiliar territory. “Captain, would I hurt you if ….” He closed his eyes as though I pained him. “Oh, I beg you. Not now,” he pleaded.
    I had chosen the wrong course, I could see. Still, my mind could not rest as I watched his face. I cleared my throat and tried again.
    “Captain?”
    He sighed wearily. “What?”
    I began again, feeling my way blindly. “What I mean is … may I say that I’m sorry for the difficulty of your youth without causing you more pain? Or should I not embark on the subject at all? Or … or is it possible that my sympathy might ease some of the lingering suffering?”
    He opened his eyes. “Difficulty of my youth? What do you mean? What did Fin tell you?”
    “Oh, hardly anything. Rest assured. But I’m glad I learned even a little. It increased my knowledge of you.”
    “For your infernal notes?”
    “No. That it may prevent me somewhat from blundering in the future and causing you unnecessary pain out of sheer ignorance.”
    I waited for him to respond, but there was only a slight withdrawal, a closing off of access. He was an essentially private man who did not let people get close to him.
    “Then I have been impudent? I should not have pried?”
    “As though it were possible.”
    I fell back against my seat. “Is that how you view me? Well of course you would. I’ve been a stupid, interfering fool.”
    He scoffed, his