do a good job,’ he said. He hadn’t said
like the hospitals back home.
That meant he still considered Sadlersville his
home even though it appeared the residents might not agree.
Beck parked in the lot, hopped out of the truck and then stopped dead in his tracks. Riley locked her door and walked round to him. He was leaning against the side of the pickup now, staring at
nothing.
‘You OK?’
He shook his head. ‘Ya should stay here.’
Beck’s proper ‘you’s had become ‘ya’s again. He was definitely stressing out about this visit.
‘Sadie’s not like yer momma was, Riley.’ He rubbed a hand across his face in agitation. ‘Nothin’ like her.’
‘She can’t be that bad.’
Beck looked over at her. ‘She’s a mean old cuss who likes to hurt people, especially me. If she can do that by hurtin’ someone I . . . like . . . she’ll be just as
happy.’
‘Why does she act that way?’
‘Some folks keep hatin’ long past when it’s best to let stuff go.’
That still didn’t explain why there was such bad blood between her and her son. Asking that question was sure to get Riley a load of grief, so she filed it away for later.
Beck made one more fervent request for her to remain in the truck, but Riley refused. ‘I’ll deal, no matter what.’
‘We’re both gonna regret this, I swear it,’ he murmured.
‘My choice,’ she replied.
No way she’s as bad as you say.
They pushed through the double doors that led to the hospital lobby and Beck stopped at the reception desk to find out his mother’s room number. The waiting room was empty, magazines
stacked in neat piles on the end tables. To the right was a set of doors that led to the cafeteria and a couple of nurses were in there, holding coffee cups and chatting.
Beck returned. ‘They’re pagin’ her doctor now. I want to talk to him first.’
Riley nodded, though this was proving harder than she’d expected. Her mom had spent countless hours inside a hospital for chemotherapy that hadn’t worked, until her body gave up.
Just being in such a building brought up too many unhappy memories.
A tall, greying man in street clothes approached them. ‘Denver?’
They shook hands. ‘Doctor Hodges. Thanks for seein’ us.’
‘Sorry it’s not in better circumstances.’
Beck introduced Riley and then the doctor ushered them down the hall and into a smaller waiting room where he gestured for them to sit. After he’d closed the door, Hodges took a seat as
well. Now that Riley could study him he really didn’t look like a physician, more like a farmer with a wrinkled, tanned face and calloused hands.
‘How much has your mother told you?’ the doctor asked.
‘Nothin’. It was Donovan who let me know she has cancer.’
The doctor shook his head. ‘I tried to get her to call you, but you know how she is.’
‘How long?’ Beck asked, his voice raspy.
‘A few days, maybe less. I’m thinking the only reason she hasn’t gone yet is she was waiting to see you.’
‘She doesn’t care about that.’
‘Sometimes what people say and what they feel are two different things.’ The doctor straightened up. ‘Are you staying here in town?’
‘We’re out at the motel.’
‘Make sure the nurse’s station has your phone number.’ He rose. ‘I’m sorry that we can’t do more. Make your peace with her if you can. Time’s running
out.’
Beck nodded and rose, shaking the man’s hand again. After the doctor had left, Beck closed the door behind him, then sank on to a seat, his head in his hands. Riley remembered what it had
been like when the doctor had told her and her father the end was coming. The sense of utter helplessness. She put her hand on Beck’s shoulder and it shook underneath her fingers.
‘I always hoped . . . that we’d . . . find a way to get along.’ He looked up, his eyes brimming, then rubbed away the tears with the back of his hand. ‘But every time I
tried she didn’t want nothin’ to
Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg