was a free clinic on Fridays, but I could never get there, as I worked. He never got sick, anyway. He had the odd cold, a sore throat, but he was fine. Am I a bad mother?”
“No , of course not. I know how you struggled. I saw what you had to live in. You did the best you could.”
Laura set her hands on the rim of the sink and stared out the window. “I don’t know , Andy. I wondered, at times, if I was selfish for not giving him up, but I couldn’t. He was mine. I love him.”
“ Hey, that’s not selfish, and none of that matters now, anyway. If you hadn’t made the choices you made, I wouldn’t have met you and Gabriel,” he said. That got a smile out of her.
“Yeah.” She tapped the sink with her fingers.
“I know your parents asked you to leave when they found out you were pregnant , and the boy who knocked you up wasn’t involved. Did he even meet Gabriel? Tell me everything,” he said, and he waited for her to respond, watching as she squeezed her hands, touching the wedding ring he’d set on her finger, turning it around and around. He knew it meant something to her—meant everything to her.
“Dad was an elder in our church , one of the youngest, and Mom was so proud. Her father was a Lutheran minister, so we had a strict household, you could say. We were raised in the church in Arlington, an Anglican Church called The First Savior. We attended every Sunday, and I even helped run the Sunday school when I was fifteen, helping my mom.” She sighed. “You know, today, at the doctor’s office, I realized you’ve moved us right back into the Bible Belt. I swear, Andy, I will never set foot back in a church, but here we are. I may be young, but I know communities where the church is the hub. I know how people respond to us ‘sinners.’”
“I think you’re reading too much into it. That doctor could just be a prick, is all.” Andy had never considered religion when he bought the house, even though he was aware of how some counties and communities were run by their churches. It was something he had heard in passing, and he had never given it much thought. He wondered, could she be right?
“ I first met Tyler at church, when his family moved nearby. I was twelve, and he was a year older than me. We also went to the same school. His sister, Melinda, she and I were friends, and we were all part of the youth group at our church.”
Laura was still gripping her wedding band , and she wouldn’t look up at him. Andy wasn’t religious. With his family, walking into a church was all about politics, who you knew, and what you were trying to get. It was about keeping up appearances.
“We were only together once , Andy. It was on a school ski trip. He snuck me into his room when everyone was on the hill. I didn’t enjoy it, it hurt, and we used no protection. I didn’t plan it. I got pregnant. I knew something was wrong, because I didn’t feel well and had missed my period. Mom took me to my family doctor, who told me I had to tell my parents, because otherwise he would. That was the first time I lied to Mom, said the checkup was fine. I couldn’t tell her then. I tried to tell Tyler first, but ever since…”
She was having trouble finishing , and Andy had a pretty good idea about what had happened. The kid was all about sex. He had screwed her, so he was done with her and had moved on to the next girl. Her eyes were streaked with tiny red lines as she fought to hold on to all her sorrow and heartache.
“ He had avoided me since that first time we had sex. I think he was disappointed, because it got awkward and weird. Anyway, I cried for days, and Mom kept asking what was wrong. I didn’t want to tell her, but I was running out of time. My waistline was starting to disappear, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide it much longer with the clothes I had. I was four months pregnant, and Mom noticed and started to ask why I was gaining weight. I knew I had to say something, so I waited