Read The Day Before for Free Online Page A

ready,
mixing them up and around,
wanting to say just
the right thing.
    But while I’m
preparing,
sorting,
organizing,
stressing,
he speaks.
    “I’ll tell you, Amber.
I will tell you.
Just not now.”
    He reaches over for
my hand. Holds it there,
on my leg. My heart
skips a beat, and I give
his hand a little squeeze
as I put all of my
carefully selected words
away.

that’s more like it
    A pink lobster
glows neon
in the window.
    Because it’s dark,
I can’t make out
the name of the place.
    He leads me in,
waves at the guy
behind the register,
and takes me
to a booth in the corner.
    It’s obvious
he knows this place.
It’s more than just somewhere
to get something to eat.
    I look behind me
and see a bar
and pool tables.
    We’re underage,
but, obviously,
for reasons I don’t understand,
it doesn’t matter.
    “So, no Chinese food?”
    “Nope.”
And that’s all he says.
This boy likes to keep me guessing.
    The waiter comes over,
says, “Hey, Cade,”
and asks if it’ll be the usual.
    “Yeah,” he says.
“But two this time.”
    He knows what he wants.
No flipping coins.
    I tell him I need to use the
restroom, so he gets up
and leads me to the back
where there are two doors,
one with a GONE FISHING sign
and one with a GONE SHOPPING sign.
    “I hate shopping,” I tell him.
    “You can go in with me if you want.”
    Is he flirting with me?
Damn, I hope so.

piling it on
    As I wash my hands,
I stare in the mirror,
thinking about this
weird and wonderful day.
    It didn’t turn out
like I thought it would.
Nothing ever does.
    The good news is
I’ve hardly thought about
tomorrow at all.
    The bad news is
I’ve now added new worries
to the pile that’s so high,
it feels like it could topple over
at any moment.
    Cade???
Why the hell are you here?
What can I do to help you?
Please, there must be something?
Will I ever see you again?
What if I don’t like my new family?
What if my new family doesn’t like me?
What if my real family doesn’t miss me?
What if my real family even likes having me gone?
    Wish I could demolish it
the way Cade destroyed
that sand castle.
    If only it were that
easy.

hints of truth
    My phone rings.
It’s my sister.
    She yells at me,
says Mom and Dad
had a horrible day,
that I’m being selfish
and I should come home tonight
and not make them wait
until tomorrow.
    I’m so tired of her yelling.
It’s all she does lately,
going on about how
I’m not the only one
affected by the verdict.
    But what the hell am I supposed to do?
I can barely keep it together myself;
how am I supposed to help her?
Help my parents?
Help my friends?
I can’t.
    “Kelly, don’t yell at me!
I needed to do this today.
I needed one day to myself.
Whatever I say, you’re not going
to understand, but—”
    “They think you’re not coming back.”
Her voice shakes as she says it.
    “What? Why—”
    “They think you don’t want to go,
so you’ve run away.
And they feel bad, like they didn’t
fight hard enough.”
    “I’m coming back.”
But I say it like there’s sand in my throat.
    “You took your sticks.”
    “Yeah. So?”
    “You took them, just in case.
Maybe you left, thinking you’d come back.
But admit it, Amber.
It’s crossed your mind.
Not coming back.”
    I sigh as I run
my fingers through my
messy, sandy hair.
    “Just come home. Please?”
    “You’re not gonna win this one, Kel.
I’m sorry.
Tell them I’m fine, all right?
And I’ll see you tomorrow.”
    She sniffles.
“Love you, Jelly.”
    “Love you too, Kelly Belly.
I gotta go.”
    I hang up,
my heart racing,
the back of my neck sweaty.
    “Hey, Amber?”
Cade knocks.
“You okay?”
    “I’ll be out in a minute.”
    Cade’s words echo
in my head.
    I bet others would say screw it,
and just not go back.

Six months ago
Dear Amber,
Like I told you when you were ten, you can tell me anything, ask me anything, even if you have to write it down.
Here’s what you have to remember—you are a strong girl. I admire you and your