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found myself having a good time.
    And I had a hard time feeling guilty about that. Even though
I should, knowing Hudson was back on the dude ranch we’d started together. I’d
left all the work to him this past week, and that wasn’t fair. I would really
have to make it up to him once Phillip left. If Phillip left. A warning in my
gut told me he wasn’t going to go so easily, and if he did, chances were good
Jamie would be going with him.
    “Can we stop here and eat lunch?” Jamie asked as we came
upon the pond, the same place Hudson and I had picnicked.
    “Sure,” Phillip said without waiting for me to answer.
    We dismounted and tied the horses to the tree while Jamie
spread the blanket and unpacked the basket. They’d done a good job putting
together a variety of foods that I’d had in the house. It actually looked
delicious, and on cue, my stomach growled.
    Phillip looked at me and grinned. “You always did have one
hell of an appetite.”
    I playfully swatted at him, remembering all those times he
used to tease me about how loud my stomach growled. Once again, I was hit with
the intense, overwhelming feeling that I’d been wrong to divorce him. I shoved
it back down deep into my mind and focused on the here and now. What I did in
the past is done, and I can’t change it. All I can do is focus on the future.
But I was left wondering which man would be in that future: Hudson or Phillip.
    We made small talk during lunch, and when Jamie got up to
feed some carrots to the horses, Phillip nudged me with his shoulder. “This is
nice, isn’t it?”
    “Yes. I love it here. It’s so peaceful and relaxing,” I
said, looking out over the pond.
    “That’s not what I meant, Heather.” His stare penetrated me,
but I refused to meet it, refused to acknowledge that he might be having the
same thoughts and doubts and feelings as I had been this past week. “I mean
this. You. Me. Jamie. It’s like nothing bad ever happened, like we’ve been this
perfect happy family.”
    “But we’re not, Phillip,” I said a little harsher than I meant
to.
    “No, but…”
    “Hey, Dad, come look at this!” Jamie shouted. I could’ve
jumped up and kissed him right then for his interruption. I didn’t want to hear
what Phillip was going to say. I didn’t need to. I had an idea of what he was
going to say, and it wasn’t something that should be said between us. Ever.
    While Jamie and Phillip looked at God knows what near the
pond, I repacked the basket and folded the blanket. The sky was turning dark,
which meant it would probably rain soon, and I didn’t want to be caught out in
it. When Phillip and I were first married, we’d taken a walk and got caught in
a flash rain storm. We were soaked by the time we’d crossed the street to take
refuge under an awning. I’d been shivering uncontrollably and Phillip had given
me his jacket. Even though that was soaked too, it had warmed me. So did his
kisses, which were intense, like he couldn’t ever imagine a life without me in
it.
    “Hey, you okay?” Phillip asked, jerking me from my thoughts.
    “Yes. It’s going to rain. We should head back.”
    “Oh, okay. I was thinking. Maybe we could take Jamie out to
dinner tonight. Just the three of us.” I knew he was trying to be nice about
saying he didn’t want Hudson around.
    “We’ll see,” I said absently. I really, really needed to
spend the day with Hudson tomorrow. It would, hopefully, put my feelings back
into perspective, because right now, I had no idea what I felt about either of
the men in my life. All I knew was that things with Phillip felt right. There
was no other way to describe it. He completed me and Jamie, made us a family.
And I was terrified that Hudson would never be able to fill that role, and that
broke my heart for so many reasons. 

Chapter
Six
    “W hat do you mean you’re not going to be around
today?” Phillip asked as if he were offended I wouldn’t be around to spend the
day with him, or