daughter,â Augustine said softly.
âYes,â I said. âAre you your fatherâs son?â
He did not reply but leaning back picked up the water jar again and passed it to me, steadying its weight while I drank. I was thirsty after all that talk and drank again.
When I finished he stoppered it and set it down. âMy father drinks and whores,â he said. âAnd so, no, I sincerely hope I am not my fatherâs son.â
âIâm sorry,â I said, touching his hand, which lay between us, palm up, in the sand. Briefly his fingers closed on mine and then let go.
I thought of my uncle and the misery of my auntâs life. âYour mother . . .?â I trailed off, uncertain if this was something I had a right to ask.
âHe thinks my mother doesnât know about his unfaithfulness,â he said.
âPerhaps she loves him anyway?â
âYes,â he said. âPerhaps she does.â
The sun had long since passed its zenith and was sinking in the west when I realized with a start that I had promised my aunt to return before sunset.
âI must go,â I said, fumbling with my sandal straps.
We returned the water jar and Augustine walked me home through streets awakening to the coming evening, workmen returning to work in the last few hours of light, women throwing open shutters to catch the cooling air. At the fountain at the top of my street, I stopped. Augustine passed back the basket and I balanced it on the fountainâs rim. We stood there awkwardly; all our ease together on the beach utterly fled.
âNebridius,â Augustine said. He was dabbling his fingers in the fountain and would not look at me. âI love him dearly and would not hurt him for the world.â
âMe neither,â I said. âI love him too.â
âYes,â he said. âOf course.â He gave a small bow. âThank you for today.â Suddenly I was the girl with the catâs eyes and he was the young nobleman borrowing an old jar, his faultless courtesy a gleaming armor that concealed the man beneath.
âI love him like a brother,â I said.
âA brother?â Augustine repeated.
âYes,â I said and, laughing, splashed him with water from the fountain. I turned and ran up the street. At the door of my auntâs house I looked back and he was standing there in the falling dusk looking after me, water running down his face.
CHAPTER 6
W eâve a guest for dinner tonight,â my aunt told me one morning. âI want you home.â
I was surprised for it was seldom anyone visited. My aunt had friends in the neighborhood, I knew, Christian women skilled as midwives, but they never came to the house, for fear of my uncle. In the evenings, after work, he sat at home and drank. Only when he staggered to his bed did I feel safe enough to close my eyes.
I was annoyed that my time with Augustine would be curtailed. I was already late. Every moment I did not spend in his company seemed lifeless, dull, as if all the color had leached out of the world.
By this time, Nebridius had been away a month. He had sent us word that he had been summoned by a messenger from the farm he had been visiting with news of his motherâs grave illness. He had hurried to his family estate to be with her and we had not heard from him since.
Since Augustine and I first met, the upturned boat became our place of refuge, our private place. Beneath its curved and salt-scarred hull, shielded from the gaze of prying eyes, we told each other stories, laid down in words the pictures of our lives, and marveled there had ever been a time when we had not known each other, for life without the other seemed a thing impossible. The word love we were careful not to speak with our lips as if to do so would be to take a step irrevocable along a road but dimly figured, yet our bodies spoke it by holding hands, our eyes spoke it by seeking out the other, and when they