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rewound.
    “When will you be home?”
    Koo could never resist a straight line. “Nineteen sixty-eight,” he said, and hung up.
    And that was it. He was terrified, the instant the line was out of his mouth and the phone was out of his hand, but not for a second did he think of turning back. Once it was done, once he’d blurted out the words that made the change, he wanted nothing except to stay with the action already done. But still the change terrified him, so he promptly left that hotel room and got drunk with friends, stayed drunk until three days later, when the network sent people down to collect him and bring him back to New York for his next weekly show. He sobered up on the northbound train, but thought no more about his break with Lily until the next week, when she phoned him at the Warwick to ask if he wanted a divorce.
    “A what ?” He was palling around with one girl in particular at that time, a dancer named Denise (in fact, they’d just had an argument in this very room, about money), and at the word “divorce” an image came into his mind of Denise as a great hunting bird, an eagle or a hawk with talons, swooping down on him. If he were no longer safely tied by marriage, if he were a single man and available, what would not Denise do? “No divorce!” Koo said.
    Lily said, “Koo, I want to know where I stand.”
    “I’ll get back to you,” Koo promised, but in fact it was Koo’s lawyer who got back to her later that week, and by the time the legal details were worked out Koo himself was off on his first USO tour; the one with Honeydew Leontine. In the years since, there has never been any one woman with whom he’s wanted to spend the rest of his life, and what other reason for divorce is there except remarriage?
    So Lily Palk Davis is still Koo’s wife, though the last time he saw her was 1965, when Frank was married. She was friendly enough then, the old rancor long since dead and buried, but what kind ofanswer are these clowns likely to get if it’s Lily they hit up for the ransom?
    Or the boys. What Koo did wrong back there in 1941, and in the busy crowded events of his life it was easy not to notice the mistake at the time, when he split with Lily he also split with his sons. It was nearly three years before he saw either of them again, and that time was only because Barry got pneumonia and was in the hospital, maybe not to live. Koo was terrified during that crisis, moving into the hospital, cancelling all his work, gasping along with every struggling breath rattling through that skinny little body, and for the first time—almost the last time—really feeling that body as a part of himself; flesh of his flesh, bone of his bone, an extension of Koo Davis into the future, a part of him that walked and moved and lived when he wasn’t around.
    But the feeling was too intense. There wasn’t any comedy in it, he couldn’t wrap himself around it. He wasn’t in charge of his emotions there, they were in charge of him. At night in the hospital, when sleep did come, it was accompanied by confused, roiling, blundering dreams, and by day he lived with nervousness and fear, a jittering clammy stumbling sense of his own helplessness. His stomach, never healthy, was in turmoil. When the crisis finally ended, when Barry at last came out of the hospital, followed by cartons of toys, comic books, stuffed animals and game sets, Koo hugged him and kissed him and put him away, and went right back to the world he knew, in which he could be comfortable and in control.
    It wasn’t, in fact, until Barry was thirteen and Frank eleven that Koo made any intense effort to be a father. In his late thirties by then, successful in the movies and reaching out for his first success in television, secure at last in his long-term status as a star and becoming truly aware for the first time that he was aging, hewas no longer the fast-talking hotshot radio comic of a dozen years ago, he found himself finally conscious