the stupid things your own mother has always said become ingrained in your brain to be trotted out for future use so the rest of the world can shake their heads and tut at you in
despair?
I sighed at the sight of my puffy red eyes and pale lips as I rubbed the last smudges of mascara from my cheeks and wondered glumly if I would ever have the chance to say inane things to my own
nearest and dearest; would anyone ever roll their eyes and tut at me? A sudden movement in the house caught my attention. I could see Jemma peering out of the bay window and talking animatedly over
her shoulder to someone behind her.
Doubtless it was darling Ella, my devilish goddaughter who was poised to pounce upon my sallow complexion with all the tact and subtlety a child could muster. Best at least try and make myself
presentable I thought, reaching for my make-up bag.
The front door, which led into the hallway and a welcoming jumble of coats and boots, was slightly ajar and as I quietly slipped inside, the warmth and smell of Jemma’s delicious baking
wrapped itself around me like a fleecy comfort blanket. Hot tears stung my eyes as I pulled off my jacket and thanked my lucky stars that I had settled for here rather than my parents’ house.
I was going to need to repair and reinforce my emotional armour before I darkened their door again. I took a deep breath and peeped into the sitting room.
‘Hello, hot stuff!’ I chirped merrily.
‘Hello, cheeky!’
My feet almost left the floor as a man I immediately recognised as Ben Fletcher, my one and only high-school crush, jumped up off the sofa and turned to face me. If possible he was even more
appealing than I remembered; a fully formed broad-shouldered, bronzed and bearded specimen of manhood. I felt my face flush and was just about to mumble an apology when Ella appeared from nowhere
and jumped into my arms, winding me completely.
‘I thought you’d be here hours ago!’ she scolded. ‘I’ve been waiting and watching all day!’ She pulled away and observed me for what felt like a very long few
seconds. ‘I’ve missed you,’ she whispered, plugging her thumb in and snuggling her soft blonde curls against my neck. ‘I’ve really missed you.’
‘And I’ve missed you too.’ I swallowed, willing myself not to cry.
Ben Fletcher playfully tugged at Ella’s foot.
‘Oh I see!’ he joked, the lines around his eyes crinkling attractively. ‘Uncle Ben not good enough for you now, is he, and you haven’t been watching all day, madam,
you’ve been at school!’
Ella giggled and wriggled in my arms, but reassuringly made no attempt to escape. I kissed the top of her head and inhaled. She no longer carried with her that seductively sweet baby smell, but
I was still comforted by her softness and grateful that she was willing to endure my hug.
‘Shall we try again?’ Ben smiled. ‘I’m Ben, Ben Fletcher. Jemma wasn’t sure that you’d remember me. I was in the same year as Tom at school and . .
.’
‘And you’ve come back to help with the Café,’ I said, aiming for confident and self-assured. ‘Yes, Jemma did tell me and of course I remember you,’ I gabbled
on, ‘but you look different, maybe it’s the beard. I can’t imagine you had it at school, did you?’
‘I thought I heard your dulcet tones!’ Tom appeared in the doorway grinning broadly, a beer in each hand. ‘How are you, chick?’
‘Good,’ I lied as Ella wriggled free, ‘I’m good.’
‘You do remember Ben, don’t you?’ he asked, handing his friend a bottle and offering the other to me. ‘Jemma said she didn’t think you would, but I didn’t
believe her.’
Bloody Jemma! I wasn’t sure what she was up to but if she carried on making such a fuss about whether I would or wouldn’t remember the man in question then I might as well rush to
the River Wyn, jump up on the bridge and declare that yes, once upon a time I did indeed have a crush on him.
‘Of course I remember
Lee Ann Sontheimer Murphy