Read The Candle Dancer / The Way That You Found Me for Free Online Page A

wasn’t sure. Something filthy. I managed to drag Doll away, and find the rest of the band. We passed Coppers on the way out.
    ‘Oh—hi Suzy…’
    ‘Yep, thanks,’ I said, busily steering Doll past the same bulgy-armed men who hadn’t helped us with our amps. One of them leaned forward and pushed open Doll’s vest, and when he’d confirmed there were no breasts he exhaled with a long and noisy
pffffing
sound, as though rendered speechless.
    The four of us lined up to have our photo taken on The Espy front steps. It was our moment of triumph and the beginning of the end. In the second photo, Doll’s falling forward out of the shot. When Benjy’s mate texted it to me I examined it closely. There was Selima, Benjy and myself, smiling; and Doll blurred by movement and laughing, her mouth open.
    She wasn’t laughing a moment later. She fell face-down onto the step below, too drunk to use her arms to break her fall. In the ambulance I sat beside her while a female paramedic pressed a gauze cloth to her split lip. I held her clammy hand and told her not to speak.
    ‘Cockers—wants you…’ she mumbled. Her eyes glittered above her swelling, bruising nose. I forced a smile.
    ‘What’s she saying?’ asked the paramedic.
    ‘She’s making a joke.’
----
    VIII.
----
    The Espy asked us to come back, but we had to wait for Doll to heal. We gave ourselves a break, and I made that long put-off appointment at the dentist, which turned out strangely.
    The evening before the dental appointment, I found Benjy in the garage playing softly on the drums, in the dark. Although I’d given all the band members a key, no-one had come to practice on their own before. I turned up the dimmer. Benjy’s head was hanging more than usual.
    ‘What’s up?’ I asked.
    He shrugged.
    ‘Do you mind me being here?’
    ‘Of course not. You look a bit flat, Benjy.’
    ‘Yeah,’ he admitted. ‘Dunno why.’
    ‘Do you want a nice cup of tea?’
    He smiled, acknowledging my little joke.
    ‘Why don’t we have a go at playing “The Difference Between Us”? I’ve been practising the lyrics.’
    ‘Yeah, okay,’ he said, brightening. He lifted his head. He was pleasant-looking, short and broad-shouldered and trim. His face would have been plain, under those blondish curls, if it wasn’t for his long-lashed hazel eyes.
    We did the best we could with the bass and drums.
    ‘
I’m not the way that you found me. I’m neither here nor there. One day I’m happy and healthy, next I ain’t doin’ so well
.’
    Afterwards I said to Benjy:
    ‘I just can’t make my voice do what
hers
does!’
    ‘No,’ he nodded. ‘It does what your voice does. There’s something
interesting there, something we could draw out.’
    ‘You think so?’
    ‘Sure. We need to spend some time just finding our sound.’
    ‘Give up the Quatro stuff?’
    ‘In a while. We need to build up our own songs.’
    ‘Maybe your songs. I’ve tried so hard to write a decent song, but all the verses are rubbish.’
    ‘Doggerel.’
    ‘Well, thanks a lot.’
    Benjy laughed.
    ‘What I meant to say was, all songs are doggerel until you’ve really got
something to say. I don’t think my songs are much good yet, either.’
    I got out my electric violin, untouched for almost six months.
    ‘What about some
Dirty Three
? ’ I said, lifting the violin to my shoulder and resting my chin. The bow quavered sweetly over the strings. We played “Sirena” till we were happy with it, followed by Benjy’s favourite, “Sea Above, Sky Below”, restoring ourselves with this melodious salve to Quatro’s ferocity.
    It would have been a perfect night, if Benjy hadn’t tried to kiss me.
----
    IX.
----
    The receptionist told me my usual dentist, Dr Joanne, was on holiday and I’d be attended by the new dentist, Dr Carl. Nurse Lin took me through to the chair and put a bib on me. I lay still, touching the sore molar with my tongue and wondering what it would cost.
    Dr Carl came in