Minnie Mouse ears in favour of cowgirl hats. Caz had flirted with the bar staff enough to blag some extra drinks and the mood was mellow. The main thing was that Doris was having a great time. She had been uncharacteristically tense of late, and Beth and I had been worrying that she’d been holding out on us over something, but listening to her launch into some outrageous tale involving Darren, a condom and an embarrassing encounter with Darren’s mum, I felt she was relaxing into her old self once more.
‘So how are things?’ Caz had sidled round to my side ofthe table, while Doris and Beth were indulging in a giggling conversation with a French actor who called himself Rodeo Bill.
‘Fine,’ I said, thinking, If only you knew . There was a time when Caz knew everything that was going on in my head. Despite what she’d done to me, part of me still missed her friendship terribly.
‘Is that fine, as in “Everything’s great” fine, or fine as in “Shut up and leave me alone” fine?’
Damn Caz. She always could see right through me.
I picked away at a beer mat, unwanted tears suddenly springing to my eyes.
‘Everything’s fine, honestly,’ I said. ‘Not that it’s any of your business.’
‘No, no of course not.’ Caz looked sad when she said this. ‘You know, Sarah, if I could turn the clock back—’
‘Well you can’t,’ I said. ‘What’s done is done.’
‘And will I ever be forgiven?’ she asked in a small voice.
‘I don’t know, Caz,’ I said. ‘How would you feel if you were in my shoes?’
‘Point taken,’ Caz said. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.’
She looked so forlorn I nearly took pity on her and told her the true state of my marriage, but somehow I couldn’t. That would mean acknowledging how wrong I’d been to trust him and not her.
‘No, you shouldn’t have,’ I said harshly.
‘I’m sorry,’ Caz said again. ‘Truly I am.’
‘Let’s forget it, shall we?’ I said. ‘Come on, this is Dorrie’s night. We shouldn’t spoil it for her.’
‘Fine by me,’ said Caz. She turned to Doris and Beth. ‘Is it time for fireworks yet?’
‘Lordy, is that the time?’ Dorrie said, giggling. Dorrie didn’t tend to do really drunk, but I was glad she was having a good time. She got up slightly giddily, and stumbled against the chair. She must have tripped over her feet because suddenly she was lying on her back on the floor looking up at us.
‘I didn’t realize you’d had that much to drink,’ I said laughing. ‘Honestly, Dorrie, what are you like?’
Dorrie didn’t say anything for a minute, then laughed and said, ‘I must have had more than I realized. Come on, pull me up.’
I leant over and helped her to her feet. There was a fleeting moment when I had the slightest of feelings that she wasn’t happy about something. But it was gone in an instant. Dorrie was on her feet and demanding to be taken to fireworks.
‘Then it’s back to my room to polish off the vodka I bought on the way,’ she said.
‘Fireworks then vodka, it is,’ I said, linking arms with her. Beth joined her on the other side, and then I was aware that Caz was hovering next to me. I still hadn’t forgiven her, but not to grab her arm seemed really churlish.
The four of us walked arm in arm back towards the park. Well we would have walked, but of course Dorrie insisted we dance and sing ‘We’re Off to See the Wizard’. I wondered if she really believed in the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Knowing Dorrie, she probably did.
‘Isn’t this great?’ Dorrie smiled at us and squeezed my arm. ‘The Fab Four finally back together. This has been the perfect hen weekend.’
The Fab Four might have been together temporarily, butI couldn’t see it lasting. I had no plans to see Caz again, whatever Dorrie might have thought. Too much water had gone under the bridge. Caz might be sorry, but for me, it was too late.
Chapter Four
Doris
‘Welcome to