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leaving them!”
    â€œYou can get them tomorrow!” I said. A bullet whizzed by my ear. I broke out in a cold sweat. “Fine, I’m leaving you here!”
    â€œTorie! Torie!” she exclaimed as I started running down the hill. But I couldn’t leave her. As much as I should have left her, I just couldn’t.
    â€œI’ll buy you a new pair!” I called up the hill.
    â€œYou promise?”
    â€œYes, God bless it. Now let’s go!”
    Finally, with the promise of new binoculars, she came bounding down the hill. We took off running through the dim light of dusk, dodging around trees, jumping over bushes, and sliding down rocks. Tree limbs smacked me in the face, and I had no idea where I was actually running to. I just knew that the river ran south and we were south of town. So all I had to do was follow the railroad tracks and the river north, and I’d end up in New Kassel within a mile or two. The thought of running a couple of miles at full speed was pretty daunting, considering I was fairly out of shape and didn’t really run anywhere, ever.
    Eleanore cried out from behind me. “I have to stop.” She gasped for breath, half-bent over, and clutched at her chest.
    â€œEleanore, we have to go.” I flipped open my cell phone and dialed Sheriff Mort Joachim.
    She held her hand up. “Wait. I don’t hear anybody anymore. Maybe they just thought I was a big old deer stuck up in the tree. Now that we’re down here, they can see I’m not a deer anymore.”
    I listened for a second. I heard nothing but the river and Eleanore’s breathing.
    â€œGod help us all, Eleanore, if we give gun permits to idiots who think a deer can climb trees.”
    â€œWhoever it was couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn,” she said, laughing.
    This was true. As the phone kept ringing, I glanced nervously around the woods. Stopping to call him any sooner would have been stupid. I was only worried about getting away from the bullets. Now that we appeared to be safe, I felt like I could stop long enough to talk on the phone.
    â€œIt’s the only reason we’re still alive.” She laughed harder now. I think she was hysterical.
    A voice answered on the other end. “Mort,” I said.
    â€œTorie?”
    â€œListen, Eleanore and I are about two miles south of town on the railroad tracks. Some hunters just tried to shoot us.”
    â€œWhat?” he said. “That area is supposed to be cleared.”
    â€œYes, I know. Look, it was probably just some stupid kids who are new to this whole hunting thing, but I’d feel better if you sent somebody after us.”
    â€œAll right,” he said.
    â€œWe’ll be on the tracks.”
    â€œOkay, but if you hear any more shots, find a safe place and stay there.”
    â€œMort, there are no safe places!”
    â€œAll right, we’re on our way.”
    â€œEleanore,” I said. “We should keep moving.”
    â€œI can’t run anymore,” she replied, still laughing. Pretty soon, she was in full-fledged, all-out, hysterical laughter. Tears ran down her face. I thought, Gee, if we were the intended target of those guns, with as much noise as she’s making, they’ll find us for sure.
    â€œEleanore.”
    Her laughter came from the gut, and then she took a deep breath and whooped even louder with the laugh ending in a deep spasm. Finally, I just slapped her.
    She stopped and stared at me. “You slapped me.”
    â€œYes. It was a matter of survival. Can we go now?”
    â€œYou slapped me!”
    â€œI’m leaving, Eleanore. We don’t have to run anymore. We can walk, but I’m walking up there where there’s a little more cover. I don’t like being in the open like this.”
    â€œYou don’t think…” she said, rubbing her cheek where I’d smacked her.
    â€œI don’t know what to think, Eleanore, but