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‘Maybe,’ I say in a low voice.
    He looks sad, and satisfied in a way. I feel as if he’s tortured a confession out of me, but I’m not sure how much I’ve given away.
    ‘But
now
,’ I insist, my hands pressing his back.
    ‘Yeah? Now?’
    ‘Now I love you,’ I say to his chest.
    ‘Okay.’ He begins to smile, to pull me closer. ‘Let’s forget about later on, then.’
    ‘Let’s.’ I laugh with relief.
    At three weeks the embryonic cells are beginning to differentiate themselves. The first stages of a rudimentary brain are a swelling at one end; the embryo’s outermost cells are early nerves. Inside, bones, muscles, blood vessels, organs and a simple intestinal tube are beginning to form.
    ‘Coming to the shops with us tomorrow night?’ says Mum over Wednesday dinner. ‘I thought we could go on to Pasha’s afterwards.’
    ‘Working late tomorrow. Sorry.’
    Mum puts on a groan. ‘We hardly ever see you.’
    Dad: ‘Gotta be done.’
    ‘I didn’t drag you up by your bootstraps just so you’d disappear from our lives.’ She’s looking at me, winking, when Dad’s knife crashes onto his plate.
    ‘Bloody hell!’ he roars. ‘What a thing to say! And in front of Mel, too. Whatever I’ve done—’
    ‘It was just a joke, Dave—’ she mutters, startled.
    ‘Whatever I’ve achieved I’ve achieved by the sweat of my own bloody brow, not because
you
—’
    ‘It was a
joke
, for crying out loud!
Mel
knows it’s not true,
I
know it’s not true,
you
know—’
    ‘—not because of
anything
you did!’ He finishes and they stare at each other.
    ‘Hey, calm down, you guys.’ My voice sounds insultingly mild and weak.
    But Mum’s picked up on something. ‘Well,
moral
support doesn’t count for anything, I guess?’ she says rather coldly.
    Dad goes back to his dinner.
    ‘Or
practical
support, I suppose? Like, four years of being on the night shift with Mel? That wasn’t of any assistance to you?’
    After a nasty pause, Dad rolls his eyes. ‘Yeah, right, Jan, you’ve been a saint. Now drop it.’ I’ve never heard him be rude to Mum like this.
    ‘
You
brought it up, remember.’ She stands up. Her eyes are filling with tears. She stacks my empty plate on hers, then snatches Dad’s from under his nose.
    ‘Hey, I’m not finished!’
    ‘If you want to eat, you can make your own bloody tea!’ She takes the plates out, leaving Dad looking stupid with his knife and fork in his hands. He glances at me, as if to check whether I noticed.
    ‘You’ve really hurt her.’ There’s surprise in my voice, as if I hadn’t thought it was possible.
    ‘Huh! She put the boot in first!’
    ‘She asked you out. That’s what happened
first
.’
    He stares at me as if I were a piece of furniture that decided to sit up and talk. ‘Bloody women!’ he mutters, putting down his cutlery. He gets up and goes over to the television.
    ‘Bloody men!’ I retort in a boofhead voice just before he switches on.
    Scene: Franklins. MUM and ME are cruising through the meat section.
    ME : So
did
you drag Dad up by his bootstraps?
    MUM : I cut the ad out of the paper, that’s all. I helped him buy the suit for the interview, made him get his hair cut. It was a joke we had, that I made him do it. Until the other night, that is.
    ME : What’s up with him?
    MUM : I don’t know. Midlife crisis.
(Look at each other, ME questioning, MUM not having any answers. MUM draws a breath, looks bright.)
How about Chinese, after?
    ME
(not hungry at all):
Yeah, good idea.
    Lunch at Pug’s parents’ place. Two short bundles, one of loud anger, one of smiling serenity, plus three tall children—snappy Lu, understated Dino and exotic Oriana, a big exclamation mark pining for an exciting sentence to justify its existence. That’s the Magninis, and as a combo they’re pretty hair-raising for someone from a single-child Anglo family. Where’s the volume control? Where’s the OFF switch? Even when they’re just having normal