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the hell happened?’ There’s an unspoken accusation behind the question and he looks at Charlotte, concerned. ‘I could hear that girl screaming from the vending machine in the corridor. I’m surprised the nurse didn’t come back. Or security.’
    ‘What did she mean?’ He places the coffee cups on the bedside table and takes Charlotte’s other hand.
    ‘Who?’
    ‘The girl with Danny. She shouted something as she was running down the corridor.’
    ‘I didn’t hear anything.’
    Brian fixes me with a look. ‘She shouted, “Stupid fucking girl. She trusted me, she thought I was her best friend, and look what happened to her”.’

Saturday 9th September 1990
    It was James on the phone on Wednesday. He was terribly apologetic, said some awful things had happened in his personal life and asked if I’d ever be able to forgive him for leaving me hanging. I wanted to be angry, to tell him that I deserved to be treated better and that he couldn’t just expect me to forgive him because he’d deigned to pick up the phone. Instead I said, ‘Buy me a beer and I’ll think about it.’ He called me an ‘angel’ then and said it was typical of the amazing person I was that I’d be so understanding.
    When we met for a beer I tried to find out more about these ‘personal things’ that had stopped him from calling but he skirted the issue, telling me he’d reveal all once we’d been together a bit longer. (So we’re ‘together’ are we? Interesting!)
    Almost inevitably we ended up in bed together. Again.
    We’d been to the Heart and Hand in Clapham Common and, as last orders were called, I suggested we get the tube back to my flat because I had a couple of bottles of wine that needed drinking. James jumped at the idea. He said he couldn’t wait to see my flat and what my things said about me. As it turned out all he saw as we spilled through the front door, into the bedsitting room and onto my futon was a couple of magnolia-painted walls and the white ceiling.
    Afterwards, as we lay in each other’s arms, listening to ‘Monkey Gone to Heaven’ by the Pixies on repeat (we were both too lazy to get out of bed and change the CD), I asked James when I’d get to see his place. A cloud passed over his face and he said, ‘Never hopefully.’ When I asked what that meant he shrugged and said he needed the loo. When he came back he said something that made me laugh and that was it, subject changed without me even noticing.
    I won’t give up so easily next time the subject comes up …

Chapter 5
    ‘Keisha Malley?’ Oli reaches across the table for a biscuit and bites into it. He’s only been back in the house for ten minutes and he’s nearly demolished an entire pack of chocolate Hobnobs. ‘Fit black girl? Yeah I know her, goes out with Danny.’
    It’s the day after the incident with Keisha and Danny in the hospital but I’m still reeling. What did she mean – ‘ She trusted me, she thought I was her best friend, and look what happened to her.’
    Brian and I talked about what had happened all the way home and for hours into the night but we still couldn’t unravel it. It took all my self-restraint, and Brian’s firm hand on the phone, not to call Oli at midnight to ask him for Danny’s number so I could get some answers there and then.
    ‘Did Charlotte ever mention anything about Keisha being her best friend?’
    ‘Keisha? Her best friend? You’re kidding me, right? What about Ella? Those two are as thick as thieves.’ He raises an eyebrow. ‘Or did they fall out?’
    I shake my head. ‘I don’t know. Charlotte never mentioned falling out with Ella but then …’ I tail off. I’m starting to get the impression there’s a lot I don’t know about my daughter’s life.
    Oli pulls a face. ‘It’s a bit unlikely, isn’t it? A fifteen-year-old and a nineteen-year-old being best friends? Or is it different with girls?’
    ‘I don’t know.’ I shrug. ‘But why would Keisha say that if it