is ill,” I said. “She didn’t eat.
With the medication she takes, she’s probably making herself super sick again.”
“She just tied you to a stool and left you to die,” Gabriel said.
“You want to go back and save her?”
I felt my body shaking as I forced the words out. “She’s my
mother.” That meant something, didn’t it? Wasn’t I supposed watch over her?
He reeled his head back as if I’d slapped him. His hand squeezed
mine again. I clutched it back, begging silently that he might understand. “We
can’t,” he said, though softer.
“My mother probably doesn’t even remember what she did. I can slip
back in.”
Dr. Green’s gentle eyes washed over my face. He pressed his palms
to my cheeks. “Sweetheart,” he soothed. “Do you understand what you’re asking?
If you go back, she could do it again. She might do worse. We might not make it
next time.”
“We will make it,” Kota said. “We’ll be right there. I’m not
leaving her again. There won’t be a next time.”
“This isn’t happening,” Mr. Blackbourne said. He started pacing
the floor, his hands on his hips. His glasses glinted against the light as he
turned back to look down at me. “No, I refuse. I can’t allow it. She can’t stay
in that house.”
He didn’t understand. I needed to go back before she called the
cops and they were arrested. I couldn’t ask them to take me in. Where would I
go? “What about Marie? What happens to her if I leave?” I asked. “What about my
dad? Would he be arrested? He didn’t know.” I hunched my shoulders, swallowing
hard, trying to suppress a cough.
“If he doesn’t know, it’s neglect,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “You
can’t stay in a house with an abusive mother. Marie can’t, either. Your father
made his choice. You didn’t have one.”
“I have one now. Where else am I going to go? I have to go back.”
Anguished glances were exchanged above my head.
Mr. Blackbourne knelt nearby, his fingertips brushed my arm. The
gentle touch forced me to look in his direction. His steel eyes focused on
mine. “Miss Sorenson,” he said in a quiet voice. “Listen to me. You can’t go
back. We can’t keep you safe there.”
“She needs help,” I whispered. There was nothing they could say
that would convince me otherwise. Where else would I go? Kota was being brave
but he couldn’t take me in. How would any of them explain it to their parents?
How could I explain everything to them without a voice?
I turned to Gabriel, looking for help. He bent his head over,
pressing his ear to my lips. He spoke for me. “If she’s not there, her mother
may call the police to find her. If the police find out what happened, she’ll
end up under control of the state.”
Kota frowned. He swung a distressed glance at the others.
“We could...” Dr. Green started. He looked over at Mr. Blackbourne
intently. A silent communication using expressions passed over my head faster
than I could keep up with.
Mr. Blackbourne shook his head. “No approval. It’s not a shelter.”
“Application?” Dr. Green.
Again Mr. Blackbourne shook his head. “Trial time. We don’t even
know if she qualifies.”
“We could keep an eye on her until then. Special circumstances?
Expedited? They can’t refuse us.”
“No,” Kota said. “I don’t want her there.”
“What?” I asked. I was having trouble figuring out this
conversation. Did I miss something? Maybe I did need to sleep.
They all ignored me and concentrated on Kota.
Kota hooks his arms under my thighs and around my back, lifting me
off of the floor and pulling me into his lap. “No, she’s not going there,” he
said. He crossed his legs on the ground and drew me in close to him. His arms
encircled my waist. His cheek touched my temple as he talked over my head.
“She’s right. She has to go back.”
“Fucking hell no!” North shouted louder than the others but each
of them expressed equal displeasure, all except Mr.