returned.
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T hanksgiving came and went , as did Christmas and New Year’s. Unlike previous years, I didn’t cook a feast and instead relied on a caterer for the holiday parties. It freed up time to work with a decorator on the baby’s room.
Caleb and I had decided on a nursery theme based on the book Where the Wild Things Are because it had been a favorite book of Caleb’s and mine as a child, and I pored over wallpaper that looked like leaves and scoured websites to find the perfect birch wood crib. I’d selected a porch swing that doubled as a daybed, so I’d have a place to nurse and lounge. The designer had suspended the white, wooden swing from the ceiling by hooks and chains. It was only a foot off the floor and faced one of the condo’s stunning floor-to-ceiling windows.
I’d already spent hours in there, swaying and reading, rubbing my tummy and wondering who my baby would look like. Caleb or me? Hopefully he or she would have Caleb’s cheekbones. And his eyes. All of his family had such interesting blue eyes of varying hues. Yes, my baby should have the King family eyes , I thought as I rocked.
The nursery’s overall vibe was light and whimsical, the stuff of fantasies. It was like stepping into another world, and I hoped the baby would love it.
One day, Caleb walked into the penthouse carrying a five-foot-long alligator stuffed animal. I chortled. “A gator?”
“I thought you’d enjoy a more lifelike one than a cartoon-looking one wearing a University of Florida shirt.”
“What’s this for?” I asked, squeezing the soft head. It was made of a smooth, almost shiny, fabric.
“I had an idea for it. Come.”
We went into the nursery, and he knelt down with the alligator. With a little push, he slid it under the swing so its nose poked out, then he looked up at me. “Too macabre?”
I shook my head and laughed. “I love it. It goes perfectly with the giant giraffe in the corner.”
He stood and we both grinned down at the gator. “I don’t want our child to fear anything. I want him, or her, to face the monsters under the bed, so to speak. Make friends with them.”
I flung my arms around Caleb. “Do you think we should find out the sex of the baby? Like maybe before you go to Brazil next week? We have an appointment tomorrow for an ultrasound.”
“No. We’re going to wait. This is one of the only big surprises in life.” He laughed. “You’re having a difficult time not knowing, aren’t you? You’ve never been good with delayed gratification.”
I snickered. “Yes, but it’s totally fine.” I was anxious to find out if the baby was a boy or a girl, but I did agree with Caleb. Already, I knew so much about the baby: how it liked to kick right when I was falling asleep and how it seemed to dance around after I drank orange juice. The fact I was carrying a person in my body and didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl seemed like alchemy.
“I can’t wait to meet her. Or him.”
“We made a human,” Caleb said softly, caressing my stomach.
It was moments like these when I felt like life was happening as it should. As if, after thirty-five years, I’d finally hit my stride. I went to prenatal yoga and delegated tasks for my new bookstore and for the old one. Life held purpose on every level, and I couldn’t recall ever being so happy. I found myself singing in the shower, in the car, and in the kitchen.
Still, my blood pressure often remained on the high side of normal, and doctors watched me carefully. So did Caleb. He made a point of taking my readings in the morning and at night with the expensive little machine. He looked so serious one day as he wrapped the cuff around my arm that I giggled. We were on the sofa, me propped against some pillows in a sitting position. He knelt over me, his brow furrowed in concentration.
“Don’t move,” he said. “And stop laughing.”
I bit my tongue until he got the reading, which was in the normal zone.
“See, Dr.
Dani Kollin, Eytan Kollin