Read Talking Dirty for Free Online Page B

What’s done is done. And now he has to pay for it.
    “I wish I could tell you it was because of her that I got better.”
    My head pops up and I glare at him. I’m going to kill him .
    I’m going to kill him .
    I’m going to —
    “But it was another girl. So similar to Olivia.”
    “Don’t you say her name,” I snarl. My other hand curls into a tight fist. The one clasping the knife begins to throb.
    Morrison keeps going as if he doesn’t hear me. As if I’m not even here anymore. “We didn’t plan it. We saw you and O—your girlfriend walking out of the movie theater. Carter, he was talking about it like it was a joke. About wanting a piece of her. He said we should go around the block and cut you off. Just mess with you. It wasn’t supposed to go as far as it did. We were drunk. I was high. I…I had never done anything like that before.”
    I swallow, forcing the bile back down my throat. All this time I thought we just happened upon these men. He says there wasn’t a plan, but they intentionally cut us off. They were waiting for us.
    Why? Why didn’t I insist on going straight back to campus?
    Why?
    A groan erupts inside of my chest. It hurts. Fuck, it hurts so much.
    Why?
    I always thought there was some reason for their attack. I knew deep down there’s never a reason for such senseless brutality. But I just kept allowing myself to believe that one day, one of these men would shed some light as to why something like this happens. Why they chose us. Why they had to kill her.
    Why her?
    This is all I get. Drunk. High. Joking around. Didn’t mean it. They wanted a piece of my girlfriend like they were entitled to it.
    But they didn’t take a piece. They took it all.
    I can’t find the punch line in this joke.
    My eyes burn as my vision blurs with moisture.
    It’s so senseless. Why did her life mean so little?
    She was everything to me. My reason for everything I did. She was my every thought. My every action. It was all wrapped around her. I busted my ass in high school, getting good grades and I went on to college to make sure I could get a good job to provide for us. I worked after school, flipping burgers for years so I could buy a car just so I could take her places. I kept working so I had money for dates and anniversary presents. And then, when she followed me to college, I took a second job so I could buy her an engagement ring and someday make her my wife.
    Every single thing I did, every single day since I met her, had been for her. From the cologne I selected, to the shirts I wore, to the color of my car, to the major I chose, and everything in between—it was all with her in mind.
    Because I loved her with all my heart. And that’s what happens when you love someone. Your happiness becomes dependent on their happiness.
    And these men carelessly took it all away.
    “I think about you both every day,” Morrison says.
    I can’t bring myself to look at him. I stare at the floor. My mind spinning. My heart hurting. But my hands—my hands are steady.
    “I started using more, trying to push the memories away. Trying to outrun all the guilt. And then…” He trails off and I wait. I don’t know why I wait. Maybe I want to hear it. Maybe I need to. Maybe I’m still holding out hope that in the end, he’ll offer me some kind of reason, though I know one doesn’t exist. Still, I wait for him to finish.
    I wait.
    I wait.
    I cry. And I wait.
    “One day, I saw a girl that resembled her,” he murmurs. “It was the eyes. So big. So blue.”
    I fall to my knees as a howl of agony burst s through my lips. She had the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. And they were so blue, he’s right. So bright. Framed in the longest lashes.
    Sometimes after we kissed, she’d find one of her dark lashes on my cheeks. She ’d pull it off, holding it on the tip of her finger between us, and even though we both knew it was her lash, she’d insist we both make the wish. Because all our wishes involved