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it was late when Jim passed away, I told the kids to go to the nursing home to tell their grandmother the news. I knew it would be better for her to hear it from them. Jim was a well-known physician in our community, and it would have been terrible for her if someone said, ‘Oh, Mrs Hayes, I am so sorry to hear about the death of your son,’ before we had told her ourselves and processed it with her.
    The kids went to the nursing home at about 10.30 p.m. and discovered that Jim’s sister had been there that day and moved their grandmother to Dallas. Allison had warned me that this would happen, and I think the prior knowledge helped me cope during a time when I needed all the help I could get.
    Allison and I had talked about how death sometimes makes people do insensitive things, but at least I knew what to expect so I could roll with it.
    So now I’m taking it day by day. I know Jim’s around me, and that he’s feeling good again. I miss our talks and sharing our daily highs and lows. I miss being part of a couple, but I will carry him in my heart with me through life, so I guess I’m not really alone after all.
    MEETING JIM
    Now that you have read Dot’s account, I want to share with you how meeting Dot and Jim affected my life.
    When my cousin Mark called and told me that Dot wanted to book a reading with me for Jim, I initially said no. This was because I bring through the dead, but I was being asked to counsel the dying, and that petrified me. What if Jim didn’t like me or couldn’t get past his professional background in medicine? What if I said something that made it worse for him? This wasn’t my forte; it was unfamiliar ground for me.
    On top of those fears, his name was ‘Jim’, and he had pancreatic cancer, just like my father-in-law, the one I never met in life. Our daughter Fallon was born five years to the day that my father-in-law, Jim, had died in the same hospital. Our daughter Aurora was born two years to the day of my father-in-law’s funeral and a day before Joe’s birthday. I saw Joe still struggle with losing his dad all these years later. Part of me wasn’t sure that this wouldn’t affect Joe, seeing a man of similar age, name and illness pass through our home and our lives. Or maybe it could help Joe to process his father’s passing, something he had never entirely been able to face. He missed him so much. I spent weeks thinking about this, weighing the possibilities and wondering, ‘Could we handle it?’
    Fortunately, my cousin Mark is a very smooth talker and he’s able to convince anybody to do just about anything—and that’s what he did with me. In spite of all my reservations, I agreed to set my fears aside and read for Jim. He was dealing with a time issue here, so now was not the moment to lose my cool.
    Jim came over on September 10, two weeks before the anniversary of my own dad’s passing. I had many conf licting emotions raging through me.
    The first thing I noticed was that Jim had the kindest blue eyes, and he was one of those guys you look at and know he’s a doctor; he exuded the energy of a doctor. He sat down and we talked for a few minutes so that I could put him at ease. This was, after all, a unique situation. We talked about what happens when a person dies, how they can reconnect with the living, and how they can still participate in the lives of their loved ones. This seemed to calm his nerves a little.
    During Jim’s reading I brought through many of his relatives and I described their personalities and gave him names and other details connected to the ones he loved. The more details I conveyed to Jim, the less stressed he looked and the more at ease I was. As the reading progressed, he seemed more and more light-hearted and even amused by the information that was coming through from his family.
    I razzed him, ‘See, it doesn’t hurt a bit! This is a completely