Read Surrender: Tales of Submission for Free Online Page A

been able to maintain the
    carefully held control he'd developed over the years he'd been involved in the BDSM lifestyle. He'd held himself
    back from having sex with Skye because he'd been aware
    from the first moment he'd seen her that he could easily lose control. The attraction had been too strong—insanely strong. So, why hadn't he just turned away?
    Because he'd had to have her, touch her, make her his.
    He was in big fucking trouble.

    43
    SURRENDER

    Even more so when she asked him, "What do you
    think made you this way? What is it that shuts you off
    from becoming emotionally involved? And I think,
    regardless of what you're saying, you're not completely shut off. If you were, you would have maintained
    control, wouldn't you?" She paused, bit her lip. "I know you don't want to hear this. And I don't know whether to be flattered or angry that it's happened with me. Because it's so…it makes it so much harder for me to keep any
    emotional distance at all, these tempting glimpses of
    what you have to offer, if only you'd let yourself."
    She was right. But this was exactly the sort of thing
    he could not deal with.
    "I can't explain myself to you, Skye."
    "Meaning you won't."
    Her mouth set in a stubborn line. He had to respect
    that in her, that she would argue with him like this.
    She sat up, leaned in toward him, and he could smell
    her. Her faint, smoky perfume, the scent of her arousal, the musk of sex. That leftover fragrance of him fucking her on the table. But it hadn't just been fucking for him, had it? That's what was freaking him out. Not that he'd done it, but his reaction to it. To her.
    "Tell me, Adam. Tell me why."
    He shook his head. He didn't talk to anyone about
    his past, about the things that had made him shut down.
    She was right about that. But he'd never discussed what he'd been through with anyone. Why did he want to tell
    her about it suddenly? Nothing was making sense
    anymore.
    Skye reached out and laid her soft hand on his arm,
    said quietly, "Tell me."
    He drew in a long breath, blew it out. Was he really
    going to talk to her about this? Even as the battle raged in his mind, he said, "There was an accident."
    She just nodded, but he couldn't believe he'd said the

    44
    TALES OF EROTIC SUBMISSION

    words aloud. The rest wanted to come pouring out, as
    though through a crack in a dam.
    "It was a long time ago. I was fifteen. My older sister, Beth, had picked me up from a party. It was late. I was drunk. I'd called her to come and get me and my best
    friend, Clay." His heart was thundering like a freight train in his chest, but he made himself spit the rest out.
    "We were hit by a drunk driver. And she…Beth and Clay both died that night. But not me. I'll never know why I'm still here. Fuck, that sounds pathetic, doesn't it? So, yeah, I shut a part of myself down after that. A normal
    reaction, I'm told."
    "It is." Skye stroked her fingertips down his arm.
    "But it's also a normal part of the process to let it go, eventually. How long do you intend to punish yourself,
    Adam?"
    "That's not what I'm doing. The accident made me
    realize there were things I could do so that I never had to…go through that shit again. Look, we all have issues, our history to deal with. I'm sure you have something,
    Skye. What was all of that stuff about not wanting to use your father's name?"
    "He was a drunk. He made me miserable. I left when I was eighteen. I don't speak to him. I don't particularly trust men because of him. That's why doing this with you was such a big step for me." She stopped, blew her hair out of her eyes. "So is that enough information, or do you want to continue to divert the conversation from your
    own issues?"
    She was strong. Smart. He liked that about her. He
    almost smiled.
    "Look, it's not as if I never recovered. I did. That's why I had the phoenix tattooed on my back as soon as I
    turned eighteen. I understood even then what it
    represented."
    "I want to see