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the girls arrived. I should know since I still have nightmares over the noises breaching through the wall connecting my room to his. Not to mention every trip outside the condo he makes, John comes back with spermicide and a new box of condoms that miraculously disappears in a matter of days. ‘No Mini-Me’s running round this bitch,’ is John’s motto, and has been since he first dipped his wick at sixteen.
    Since I’m a man, and I have needs, I grudgingly hit John up on a loan for some rubbers the second the red head presented herself to me on a platter. Not to mention the physical relief after a long day filled with tension, without the downside of a pesky emotional attachment, is just the way for me to unwind.
    After a few seconds, Victoria works her way through the crowd with a swish of her hips to sidle up next to me. She wraps her arms tightly around my waist, pressing her chest firmly against mine. With the low-cut, skin tight top presenting her small cup size at the perfect gazing angle without my having to even try, she licks her thin lips before looking up to meet my gaze.
    “Do we really have to leave in two days?” Victoria asks and I nod. Tears well up in her pale green eyes and she looks down. I’m not the best with tears, seeing as I have a penis, but dealing with a little sister for sixteen years out of my 23, gives me an edge over others of the male variety. Taking a page from the big brother booklet, I carefully lift her chin and lower my voice to as gentle a tone as I can manage.
    “We do,” I answer. “It’s what’s safest.”
    “But it’s safe here!” She wails before the tears start cascading like a waterfall in the rainforest.
    Goddamn it, this is why I usually leave John to deal with Sarah’s tears. I’m looking for that teddy-bear bastard as I feel her start hyperventilating against my chest. Shushing her as I pat her hair down, I mutter as much smoothing bull shit that I can recall John saying during one of Sarah’s meltdowns.
    “You don’t need to be afraid,” I say and start increasing the pace I’m patting her hair back with. “I’ll watch out for you.”
    My fingers are tangled in knots of hair at this point and I’m getting more uncomfortable by the second. Searching frantically for some female aid, since I’m pretty sure I’m doing more damage than good, I feel her claws start digging into my chest. Mother, fuckity fuck does that hurt. ‘I need Midol and chocolate stat. I repeat, I need a freaking case Midol and a pound of chocolate, right the fuck now!’
    I carelessly detach my fingers from Medusa’s hair and begin to pull back in order to get Sarah to deal with this hormonal shit, or Akio to sedate her. Actually, sedation is my choice after her nails dig further into my flesh than Sarah’s prick of a cat Morris does, to the extent that I’m sure she will leave permanent scarring.
    “We still have two days before we leave,” I offer in a final attempt at self-preservation. I’m just about to order the good Doc to inject her with the same dosage as a rhino of our precious drugs, when Victoria’s head snaps back and her breathing sounds normal again. Obviously, I must have done something right.
    “You promise?” Victoria demands with a swipe of her hand across her cheek to collect the last few tears and smearing makeup, I didn’t know she even had, across her pale face.
    I nod in answer, I’ll promise her a fucking pony that shits gold and rainbows if that’ll get her to stop. With what can only be described as a triumphant smile, she accepts my reassurance before quickly disappearing back into the escalating tempers of the crowd. This leaves me feeling as befuddled as any man can be when dealing with a woman’s drastic mood swings.
    It’s official, women are fucking weird. Shaking my head to clear it, I turn my attention back the voices rising to decibels that could wake the dead. Since Cory’s method worked, I give it a go and emit a wolf whistle