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look at me
and smile like that, I think that look in your eyes is far more
exciting than a helicopter ride.”
    She blushed
and looked away, uncertain.
    Then she
looked at the watch on his wrist. “I must fly,” she said.” The
choir needs to do a quick practise before the church service
begins.”
    Vic walked to
the church once had had finished his machine shutdown. The pastor’s
wife was waiting for him, minding the two children. She brought him
to sit next to her near the front of the church, introducing him as
she went and making polite conversation. They sung an introductory
hymn and the pastor talked and led some prayers. Then the choir
came forward for its performance, Jane standing in the midst of
aboriginal women, with men standing behind them.
    The first song
sounded like a negro spiritual. He did not know it but it was
lovely with blending voices, though he could not distinguish any in
particular. Then came a song with a familiar sound, he realized it
was one of Gurrumul’s songs, sometimes he listened to this lovely
voice when feeling a bit low. He looked up, he realized it was not
Gurrumul but Jane, singing as the other women hummed.
     
    “ I was born blind, I don’t know why.
    God made me
blind, because he loves me so.”
     
    As she sung he
was transfixed by her loveliness. She was glowing, as if with a
shimmering light, she was so beautiful. He wondered if she was an
angel. She was singing about him and she was singing about her. He
knew it was her, his own lost Susan, she had become lost and blind
and without her he was lost too. But now it was OK. It did not
matter if she knew or remembered him. In her blindness she had
found peace and escape and that was enough, it was a complete
goodness in its own strange way.
    He found her
eyes, they had tears and his own eyes had tears too. He did not
want the song to end. He just wanted to keep looking at her.
    The rest of
the service passed in a blur. Then it was time to go and she was
walking with him back to the helicopter, her hand resting lightly
on his arm. She asked, “Will I see you again?”
    He said, “I
hope so, I will make it so.”
    Then suddenly,
he wanted to know, he needed to know. He took the photo of his
Susan, taken from before, and showed it to her. He asked her if she
knew this person.
    She looked at
it intently and shook her head. It looks like me but it is not me.
She had a different life spirit inside her to that which is inside
me. I think that person has gone now and cannot come back. Are you
looking for her?
    Vic nodded,
mutely silent.
    She said, “I
hope you can find her, but I don’t know if you can ever bring her
back.”
    She paused,
silent for a minute, as if searching for words of comfort, perhaps
looking for something buried deep inside herself.
    She said, “I
think she would want you to look for her, to try to find her, even
if she does not know it and may not be able to return, so good
luck.”
    Suddenly Vic
was unsure. Half an hour ago he was sure he had found his Susan and
would find a way to bring her back. Now he was unsure on two
fronts, whether it was really her and, even if it was, whether he
could ever reach her again and bring her back to him and the others
who loved her.
    He said
goodbye. She touched a finger to her lips then to his lips. It felt
and tasted of an inexpressibly precious life essence.
    Then he took
off and flew away, looking back at her as her form dwindled into a
miniscule dot and finally vanished into the horizon.
     
     
     

Chapter 7 -
Revelation Dilemma
     
    As the tiny
person on the horizon faded from view Vic’s thoughts returned to
what to do about his discovery of this person, Jane. His gut
reaction said she was Susan but his logical mind just did not know.
And, even if it was her, he had a whole lot of conflicting things
to resolve.
    He did not
feel he had the right to drag her back into the awful situation she
had been in before she vanished. She had fought so hard to hide the
other