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to say.
    “I’m sorry Kate, but you’ve got it all wrong. I’m not blaming myself. I dealt with that guilt and I accept my responsibility in their deaths. I don’t excuse my part. I can’t blame all the failure of our marriage on Caroline, either. I did my part there, as well. It’s not me I blame any longer. It’s God. "              
    His confession shocked her into silence.
    “The night that Denny told me the news of my son...” Matt shook his head. “Well, I quit believing in God. I can’t. I found out that night just what a lie believing in God really was, and I can’t be a part of that lie anymore.” Matt hadn’t even told Denny the depth of his bitterness toward God. The loss of Sammy had been crippling. He'd lashed out at himself first, then God.
    He expected Kate to be disgusted, but she wasn’t deserting him. There were tears of pity in her eyes. He rejected them without hesitation and mentally withdrew from her. Didn’t she realize that pity was a wasted emotion on him?
    “I don’t believe you,” she finally said, her eyes bright with moisture. “How can you say you don’t believe in God? You still attend His church.”
    “Lots of people go to church who don’t believe in God. I started going again for Denny’s sake. He still believes he can save me , and I can’t bear to disappoint him anymore than I already have. When I attend church, listen to the music and the pastor's sermon, I feel absolutely nothing.”
    Kate appeared wounded by his confession. “There’s evidence of God everywhere. How can you say you don’t believe? Can’t you see God’s presence in everything that makes up our world and our lives.              
    “And even if you refuse to acknowledge the truth, think about the promise that God gave assuring us that someday we will see our loved ones again. Everything you’ve told me about your past makes me believe you are a Christian, even if you doubt that now. You’ll see Sammy again some day, just as I know I’ll see my grandmother. Sammy may be gone from your life right now but he’s at peace with God.”
    He turned away and fought to calm the threatening storm inside his heart.
    “You’re wrong. This is all there is. There is no God.”
    A single tear slid down her cheek.
    “Maybe believing in God gets you through the tough days , but I realize now that God is just a fairy tale created to help people hang on and overcome the difficulties that life throws at them. God is nothing more than a crutch for people to lean on instead of facing life head on.”
    Kate brushed away the tears. Matt watched as a stubborn anger replaced the pity she’d felt for him minutes earlier.
    “You’re so wrong and I don’t think even you believe what you’re telling me. You’ve been hurt. You suffered, but you’re not the only one. Many people lose someone they love, and they don’t give up on God or on life. You certainly don’t have the corner on grief, Matt.”
    If he lost his temper now, he’d lose the chance to have a relationship. Matt willed the anger away. Then the truth hit him.
    “Are you talking about your own life?” Her reaction told him he'd been dead on. “What are you running away from?” He knew he’d hit a nerve when she looked away.
    “Sorry, Kate, but some things are easy to read, especially for a former cop.”
    Kate made no attempt to answer.
    “You don’t want to talk about it —”
    It was as if a damn had broken inside of her and the words came rushing out. “I can’t talk about it. I can’t. It’s too embarrassing. It’s…it’s…too horrible to talk about. I can’t even think about it.” She sat rigid, gazing at the floor.
    “Yes, you can. I told you all those terrible things about myself. You’ve seen what a twisted person I am. Nothing you can tell me will even come close to my sins. You can trust me with the truth.”
    “Even if you discover I’m not a good person." She waited but he couldn't find