Read SS General for Free Online Page B

else's ground."
    "All right," I said. "Keep your shirt on. It's not my fault if I do something wrong by mistake and they nab me for it, I suppose?"
    They went on looking at me, their eyes narrowed.
    "You watch it," said Porta at last. "You just watch it, boy!"
    There was the sound of footsteps outside the stable. The Old Man glanced through the dust-covered windows.
    "Changing the guard," he said. "It's time we were off." He gave me a dig in the ribs. "How about some coffee, eh?"
    It was always me. Because I was the youngest, it was always me who had to go and fetch their stinking coffee from the field kitchen. I was not only the youngest, I was also a cadet officer, but that made no difference, I still had to do all the fetching and carrying and be cursed by the cook, who lived in a permanent rage and had a particular hatred of anyone who was likely to better himself.
    On the way back I tripped over an unexploded bomb and spilled most of the coffee. That meant I was reviled by Heide as well as by the cook.
    "What's this?" he shouted. "Half a cup? Where's the rest gone? Down your greedy gullet, I bet!"
    "Piss off!" I said. "Go and get your own lousy coffee if you don't like the way I do it! People leave goddamn great bombs lying about all over the place, what am I supposed to do?"
    At that, they all turned on me, shaking their fists and their half-empty mugs of coffee. I trailed back to the kitchen, where the cook threw a spoon at me and told me, in totally unrepeatable language, to go screw myself. I finally had to bribe his assistant before I could get a refill, and even then there wasn't enough to go around and I was the one who had to suffer. Naturally. Being the youngest. There weren't any privileges attached to being young in the Army.
    The next day saw not only Tiny and Porta's release, but also the order to prepare the motorized sleds to take a new contingent to the front line. In addition, we had some mail, but the Old Man was the only one of our group to receive a letter. It was from his wife, who drove a No. 12 trolleybus in Berlin. As soon as the Old Man had finished it, we passed it around among ourselves.
    Dear Willi:
    Why don't you write to us more often? No news for eight weeks and we're all so worried about you. Not a day goes by but you hear someone else you knew is dead, there are now five pages in the paper, all death columns. Everyone on edge all the time, and last week I had an accident. Am going to see if I can't change jobs to be a conductor, driving makes me so tired now we have to do twelve hours at a stretch. They can't get the labor is the trouble, there's such a shortage of people. No men anywhere, only ones that aren't fit, all the rest are gone. Hans Hilmert was killed at Kharkov. Two men from the Party came and told Anna, when she fainted they had to take her to the hospital. They've got the children in care. All of us on the block wanted to look after them but it's the Party decides everything these days. You remember the Sockes who came to live next door? He was badly wounded in Greece, they've told Trade as soon as he's a bit better they'll send him home to Berlin. I don't know, though, I wonder. Jochem is doing very well at school, his old one was bombed and now he's at a new one. The whole building went and half the children were killed. They were digging all night long; I was nearly crazy, but thank God, Jochem was OK. The ones that were left, they have to go to the school at Grunewald. It means I have to get up an hour earlier, but Gerda, Ilse and me are taking it in turns. They have to change three times and it's very confusing so they can't manage it alone. I told you about the girl who disappeared back in September? They've now found her body in the grounds of the zoo but not yet her murderer. I have ha your snapshot done larger and in color so now you are with us all the time. When will you get some leave? haven't seen you for more than a year. Where are you' It's awful not knowing,