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hysterically at what had happened.
    " Would you believe I got a charge of indecent exposure? " Dieter said. " I told the policeman: 'It's not my fault. When it's pumped up it has to be deflated,' I told him, 'I didn't mean to expose. I couldn't find the down switch.' Dieter glanced at Pem who was smiling, wide-eyed, and he felt suddenly embarrassed.
    " I'm sorry, ladies I don't mean to offend, " he said. Pem glanced at Anagrette and raised her schnapps, giving her an extravagant thumbs up. This started them both laughing and George kicked her under the table. Pem was not ordinarily much of a drinker, apart from the occasional glass of Zinfandel rose, and tended to lose her inhibitions if she drank too much. She ignored him.
    " I give evidence in court, " she told Dieter. " I tell judge: 'I don't think 'indecent, I think 'impressive.' "
    " All right, that does it, we're leaving, " said George. He made as if to get to his feet, laughing along with the others. " Next thing, she'll be asking for the brochure. " They all laughed. " Pem has a point, though. We will go with you to court. In order to convict, they have to prove intent to commit an offence. And clearly that is not the case here. We can give evidence if necessary. What time are you due in court? "
    " Ten o'clock, " said Dieter. " Tell you what, I will stop by your camp spot at nine, fix your brake. Just have to tighten the cable that's all. Take five minutes. "
    Pem drained the last of her schnapps.
    " If the rig's a-rockin' don't come a-knockin ' , " she said. It was something she had read on a bumper sticker on her way to the loo.
    " I beg your pardon, " said Dieter. Then the penny dropped. They all laughed and Pem took George's arm as they walked back up the hill.
    " All rise! "
    The usher in charge of decorum at Shoreham-on-Sea Magistrates Court called the public to order as Lady Geraldine Ponsoby-Warmington JP entered Court Room No. 1 with a judicial flourish and settled in her seat behind an imposing wooden dais. It was a bank holiday Monday morning when the court is not normally in session, but out of fairness to the defendant, a visitor from Baden Baden, a special session was considered appropriate so that British justice could be seen to be swiftly executed. Her ladyship was not happy. She would rather be bird watching.
    The prosecutor rose to his feet.
    " Your Honor, the defendant, Dieter Schitler, is charged under sub-section 2 of the Sexual Offences Act of 1872 in that in the Lazy Daze Campground in this borough, in the county of Sussex , he did indecently expose himself contrary to the said Act. "
    " How do you plead? "
    Herr Schitler stood to face his accusers. " Not guilty, Your Honor. "
    From a bench in the spectators' gallery that ringed three sides of the court room, George Aloysius Brown nodded his approval. While Dieter had been fixing his brake he had briefed him on how magistrates should properly be addressed. He had seen enough of the inside of courtrooms during his days in bylaw enforcement to feel confident of an acquittal.
    Lady Warmington glanced at the rest of the cases on her sheet; twenty guilty pleas to parking without lights in the fog, one breach of probation, and a probable adjournment on a drunk and disorderly, and decided that Herr Schitler and his allegedly rampant member would at least keep her mildly amused.
    " Proceed, " she said.
    " Madam, the facts in this case are as follows. Sgt. William Johnson of the Shoreham police detachment was cycling past the Lazy Daze Campground yesterday at about 3 p.m. when he heard a disturbance emanating from said campground including much shouting in German. Upon investigation of a possible breach of the peace, he witnessed the defendant, who was in a state of nudity, adopting an aggressive posture and berating a fellow camper. By this time quite a crowd had gathered. In Sgt. Johnson's opinion the defendant was in violation of sub-section 2 and therefore cautioned and charged him. "
    " Are there