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feel. It wasn’t fair that he hadn’t been able to hold up his side of the bargain.
    I hung back and observed Josh skipping along, holding Dan’s hand and chattering away nineteen to the dozen. They could have been father and son. They didn’t exactly look alike, but they didn’t look unalike either. I tried to superimpose Steve’s image over Dan, tried to pretend, just for a moment, that all was as it should be, and a big lump rose in my throat. Stop it, Sophie. Now .
    Unwilling to be left so far behind Dan and Josh, Emily jiggled her legs impatiently in her pushchair, signaling that mummy should get a move on. I made myself laugh to reassure her and quash my gloomy thoughts, and we raced after the boys.
    At the playground, Josh let go of Dan’s hand and joined his friends from playschool, leaving Dan looking slightly forlorn. I stood next to him and nudged him with my shoulder.
    “Don’t look so glum, you. It’s much better this way.”
    “I know,” Dan mumbled. “But it was nice to be needed.”
    I shot him an amused look. He had never before acknowledged how intense a bond he felt with my children.
    Before I could give voice to this thought, an insistent shrilling signaled the start of the school day. Damn, how had that happened? How had I become so distracted when my focus should have been on Josh? And there he was, shooting over like a rocket to give me a hug, then clinging to me, overcome by sudden shyness.
    His teacher lined her new charges up to enter Reception, and when the bravest children had disappeared inside under the guidance of the teaching assistant, Mrs. Dean came over to collect the stragglers one by one.
    “Hello, Josh.” She crouched down in front of him and gave him a friendly smile. “Time to go in now.”
    “How do you know my name?” my son marveled.
    Mrs. Dean winked at him. “I have special teacher powers, and I’ve seen your photograph. Will you come with me now? Say goodbye to your Mummy.”
    “And Dan,” Josh supplied eagerly, giving me and Dan a short hug. Mrs. Dean gave Dan only the briefest of looks while her attention remained fully on Josh. She smiled and coaxed him away.
    “That went well,” Dan observed. “A bit of an anti-climax, right? What happens next?”
    “I don’t know,” I muttered. Suddenly, I was at a loose end with no idea what would happen next, and I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “They grow up so fast.”
    “Time passes too quickly,” Dan mused. “Not always a bad thing, but it can take you by surprise.”
    “You’re going all lyrical on me.” I grinned. “I bet you’re writing a song in your head. I know that look.”
    “I am, actually,” Dan confessed. “Occupational hazard. Sorry.”
    “Park,” Emily demanded when Dan and I continued to stand around. “Emily go to park.”
    “Okay, sweetie, I’ll take you to the park,” I agreed, glad of something to do.
    Dan sighed. “I’ll have to pass. We have a band meeting with the record label this morning. I’d better be going.”
    Emily erupted in disconsolate crying. “Dan come, Dan come.”
    Dan smiled at my daughter. “Baby girl,” he spoke, squatting to bring his face on a level with hers. “Dan has to go to work now. But I’ll come back later and maybe we’ll go for a meal. Will you look after your mummy for me this morning?”
    He had struck the perfect note, and Emily was putty in his hands. “Of course,” she pronounced slowly, copying the exact tone of voice I usually deployed for the phrase.
    “That’s grand,” Dan assured her and offered her a high-five. I laughed as he straightened up.
    “Charming the next generation already, I see,” I teased. “You do have a way with the girls.”
    “Also an occupational hazard,” Dan retorted easily before turning serious. “I really must be off. Will you be all right?”
    “Of course,” I replied, exactly as my daughter had, and the irony wasn’t lost on either of the adults.
    Dan grinned and high-fived