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refused to have anything to do with my books because of “the sex parts.” Understand that these were non-fiction books. Any reference to sex was put there with the intent to inform, not to titillate or arouse. That didn’t matter to them.
    I plan to write a variety of books on ambulance work, humor, martial arts, creative thinking, and so forth. One of my biggest worries is that publishing this highly controversial book will forever stigmatize and pigeonhole me. Writing about sex is “different”; writing about kinky sex is “even more different.”
    I worry that, no matter what else I write about, I will be known for the rest of my life as “the guy who wrote that SM book.” I don’t want this book to be the most conspicuous accomplishment of my writing career, perhaps even my entire life, but I must face the definite possibility of exactly that occurring.
Before he had a chance to say anything about the bruises on my butt, I said, ‘Doc, it was consensual,’ and that took care of that.
     
    Faced with this problem, I considered several options. There was, of course, the choice of simply not writing the book at all. I could do very well by staying with less controversial topics. Yet the truth was that I wanted to write this book. Furthermore, many people out there needed, some desperately, the information it contained. I didn’t feel that I could just walk away from those people.
    While I pondered whether or not to write this book, I also considered what form it should take. I considered writing it as a novel. I would present SM, and its basics such as consensuality, “disguised” as a novel. If challenged, I could retreat to “It’s only fiction.” But the truth is: It’s not fiction. It’s very real, and it’s all over the place, and it’s soon going to be even more all over the place. Somebody had to start talking about SM in a straightforward, realistic way. It’s not enough, and it makes for terrible fiction, to have the characters talking to each other when the real purpose of the dialogue is to have the reader overhear.
    I thought about writing a novel in which a young woman enters a “bondage manor” for training as a professional dominant. My goal would have been to “train” the reader along with my fictional heroine. I couldn’t make it work. I may try my hand at SM erotic fiction someday, but I’ll wait until my “teaching piece” is complete. For now, I’ve decided I need to talk directly to my reader, so that’s what I’ll do. Hello there, Reader.
    I thought about writing under a pseudonym, but my writing style is so distinctive that it would take about two days after publication for “the secret” to be found out. Also, I knew I would rather take the heat associated with publishing this book under my own name than have to live in fear of discovery - and eventually take the heat anyway. Finally, I knew there were people who would take evil glee in “outing” me as the author of this book. Giving them such power over me was simply unacceptable.
    Finally, I had to look deeply at how I truly felt about SM. Did I, as an SM practitioner, truly believe that I was doing something wrong? I was very clear that I believed no such thing. Well then, why was I afraid to talk about it “on the record”?
    The core truth was: I feared being ridiculed. Even ordinary sex is terribly easy to satirize and sensationalize. Something like this, for those already inclined to twist and distort, is just simply too good and too juicy to be true. I felt afraid of those people. I didn’t want to have to deal with them.
    Furthermore, I have not lived a life free of controversy. I could be made to appear a near-saint, or despicable, by selectively choosing certain aspects of my life and presenting them in a certain way.
A pervert is anybody kinkier than you are.
     
    Like the rest of you, I’m somewhere in the middle. I have my strengths and my virtues, and I have done things about which I now feel