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chewed on the tip of her sunglasses. “I used to go to the market and fill my cart with food I wasn’t going to buy,” she said, speaking up. “I’d walk up and down the aisle eating about a million doughnuts then stash the empty boxes.”
    Bones listened, even though he’d heard plenty of stories like hers. “I scarfed down all that food without tasting it—without really seeing it. I don’t know how to explain it…”
    Sarah positioned her glasses back on her head and glanced at Dr. Chu. He nodded for her to go on.
    “It was like some twisted high,” she said. “Stashing the empty boxes was the same as pretending the doughnuts had never existed. Like I never ate them in the first place.”
    This realization made Bones more sympathetic to her particular illness, even though, technically, she’d been shoplifting, not that he cared.
    Most people thought anorexics didn’t eat at all. We eat too! he wanted to shout. Just not the same as the rest of you. Standing at the kitchen scraping macaroni from the pot because standing-up-eating calories count less than sitting-at-the-table calories. Stealing a bite of chocolate cake off his sister’s plate because those calories count less than when they’re on your own plate.
    He thought about his sister’s birthday party a couple of years ago when her friends came over for cheesecake. He’d only taken a bite before shoving his plate aside. “I’d pay a million dollars for your self-control,” Amanda had said. She’d been Jill’s best friend since kindergarten. Before that, she’d hardly said two words to him.
    “I’d trade my SAT scores to be skinny,” another friend jumped in. “I just don’t have any will power when it comes to dessert.”
    “Highest bidder wins,” Bones said, soaking up the attention.
    Amanda had squeezed his arm affectionately, as if pinching off bits of will power. It made him feel important, because he had something she wanted. That had never happened to him before.
    After that he began eliminating certain things from his diet. Not all at once, but slowly. Within a couple of months he was living on grapefruit, low-fat yogurt, and M&M’s. That kind of self-control was intoxicating. Just another couple of pounds, he kept telling himself. Then another couple to make sure he had a cushion.
    Bones weighed himself constantly, thrilled as the numbers dipped below normal. He was making his own rules and it felt great. Pretty soon girls at his school began to notice. “Have you seen Jack?” he heard them whisper in the halls. “How do you think he did it?”
    Bones had never felt such power.
    He was happily addicted.
    Sarah was still talking. “I’d be so depressed I’d sit in my car and throw up in a plastic bucket.” Then she started talking super fast, like she had to get it all out or die. “I’d tell myself it was the last time, but—”
    Elsie nodded, like she got it. “The only way to be noticed in this town is to be skinny.”
    “It’s hard not to buy into that crap when everything in our society is either black or white,” Nicole said. “Good or bad. Fat or thin.”
    “We have to find middle ground,” Mary-Jane said. “And stop obsessing about our screw-ups.”
    Teresa hugged her knees. She was staring out the window at something that wasn’t there. “I know why I’m fat,” she said quietly. “And I think I understand why I turned to food to—” She choked herself off.
    Bones glanced at her sideways.
    “I, uh, I didn’t want guys to like me. I didn’t want anyone to touch me again. Ever . Like that dirtbag who used to live next door. I babysat his kids…and this one night he came home early without his wife.
    “I was on the couch watching a rerun of a dumb show about models. He stood behind me, which was creepy enough. Then he started rubbing my neck, asking me about school and stuff. I was terrified…”
    Teresa wiped her nose on her sleeve.
    Nicole passed her a tissue.
    Everyone waited.
    The air was