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yeah. I forgot you were onto that.” She touched her left eyebrow. “You and Dave are the only two who tell me that.”
    “So what’s the surprise?”
    “I got us in business class,” Penny said. “That’s why I was running late. One of the guys at work offered me his flight upgrade coupons, but I had to go to his house this morning to pick them up.”
    As if this whole trip weren’t luxurious enough, Penny and I were among the first group to board the wide-bodied aircraft and settle in with our extra legroom. I was by the window again with a pillow and a blanket. Penny adjusted herself in the aisle seat, and we kept on chattering as comfortably as if we were sitting at my kitchen table.
    “I was up all night getting everything together.” Penny shook her head and reached for her reading glasses, as they were sliding down her forehead. “I can’t believe how unorganized I was at the last minute.” She fished in her large purse for her glasses case. “I suppose you were all set to go by eight o’clock and got a good night’s sleep.”
    “Are you kidding? Not me. I was packed, but my brain wasn’t ready to shut off. I barely slept.”
    “Did you leave notes for your kids?”
    “No, I woke them up to say good-bye. Did you leave notes?”
    Penny nodded. “I ended up writing long love letters to each of them and Dave, too. My plan was just to leave little one-liners on their pillows. Then I started to write Nicole’s first, thinking that would be the easiest. Was I wrong! What is it with our daughters? Did you feel this way when Kaylee was eleven? I feel as if every step from here on out needs to be guarded carefully. Do you know what I mean? It didn’t feel like that when Noah was eleven.”
    “I know. Having only one daughter makes a difference, too, somehow.”
    “Exactly!” Penny agreed. “It’s as if I have one shot at reinventing myself—and before you say anything, I know I’m not supposed to project all that on Nicole. She is not my second chance at a happy childhood. It’s just bizarre how much more intense my mothering instincts are with her. The boys are easy. But then, they have a great dad.”
    I smiled because she was watching me, waiting for the smile. Dave loved his wife and kids intensely. Penny always wanted everyone to love Dave as much as she loved him.
    One time, about five years ago, Penny told me she wondered what it would be like to sail through marriage the way I did with Jeff, rather than take every bump along the road as she had with Dave. She said Jeff amazed her because nothing fazed him. Whenever something disturbing, like Ben’s broken wrist and lost scholarship, would come into our lives, Jeff would burrow deep inside himself. He rarely reacted outwardly. His emotions seemed to churn and sift through a dozen filters. Then one morning he would wake up, and nothing would be left to filter. He would be back to his usual steady pace.
    Dave, however, was all out in front. If he had an opinionabout something, he would share it. If you needed something, he would go out of his way to get it for you. If he was mad, he would articulate why and quickly forgive. If he loved you, you knew it. And you never doubted it.
    The plane had taken off while we were in the midst of our discussion. Penny opened her mouth wide and rubbed behind her left ear. I felt compelled to do the same, even though my ears weren’t popping.
    Penny continued to talk about the love notes she had worked on all night. She described how surprised she felt over her last-minute reluctance to leave her family. “I didn’t expect to feel this way. And you know what, Sharon? I have to apologize for a couple of things. First, I want to apologize for being so cold when you were going through the trauma with Ben. I didn’t understand. I think I do now. Sorry I wasn’t more sympathetic.”
    “It’s okay. I needed to hear what you said. You were right. I’m glad I didn’t back out of the trip.”
    “Really?”