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first.”
    I mustn’t have sounded convincing; Shar nodded thoughtfully, but she looked miserable.
    â€œThis is my fault, Meg, and I’m sorry!” A tear tracked down her porcelain cheek.
    â€œI guess I’m just as much to blame, and hey”—I grinned crookedly—“the dark Underworld wouldn’t be any fun alone. I was probably on my way there anyhow, and now I can drag you with me!”
    Shar managed a feeble laugh, then leaned back and flipped on the TV, a wide-screen plasma monstrosity that almost covered the wall. We had one in every room, even the bathroom. I wasn’t shocked to find that there was a seemingly endless collection of DVDs to go with them, but what was surprising was that Shar liked the same films I was into—pretty much anything with corsets, buff vampires, and bad-ass action heroes.
    I got up and rummaged through my bag for the necessities I’d packed before I left home.
    â€œWhat are you doing?” Shar asked as I pulled out a meat mallet from a kitchen drawer.
    â€œMmmmf,” I mumbled, my mouth holding a tack. I took it out and banged it into the wall, then hung up a little mirror with a bright yellow frame.
    â€œThis is useless,” she said, coming over and trying to see her reflection. “It doesn’t go with the furniture, and it’s ugly!”
    â€œIt’s not meant to be pretty or used for checking eyeliner. It’s a feng shui mirror. Hades’ juju is in every corner of this place. You might not feel it, but I do.”
    She rolled her eyes and yanked the mallet out of my hand. “No more paranormal babble—”
    â€œIt’s not babble! It’s a—”
    â€œ Science , I know,” she finished my sentence for me as I fixed her with an annoyed stare. “Do you have to hang things on the wall to feng-schweng this place?”
    â€œFeng shui .” I paused for a minute to think. “I could bring in a life element—”
    â€œSo buy a house plant. Oooh!” Shar grinned suddenly. “Why don’t we do some serious damage to those credit cards?”
    Against my instincts, five minutes later we were back outside and making our way to the department stores.
    â€œWait.” I grabbed her arm, stopping her short. “First things first.” I turned her around and steered her into a small coffee shop we’d passed by.
    â€œA chai,” she whispered in my ear, as the wreath on the door jingled when it slammed shut behind us.
    I gave her a blistering look. “I know . Get a table.” I sauntered up to the counter and excused myself to a man in a sharp suit who was still checking the menu, thinking, geez, if you’re not ready to order, let me go first . He backed up a step. Smiling at the guy at the register, a sandy-haired grad-student type in a goofy Santa hat, I ordered, hoping he’d get it right. “Give me one large chai tea and one double mocha latte with skim milk, no whipped cream, please.”
    He stared at me and grinned.
    â€œUm … ” I said after a few moments, wondering when he was going to ring me up. “Can I get—”
    â€œA large chai, and a double mocha love with skim.” He cut me off in a dreamy monotone, then flung his head so that the pompom on his hat flicked back.
    â€œAre you okay?” I asked, waving a hand in front of his face, thinking, is he high? I thought places like this had drug-testing policies.
    â€œSure.” He continued to grin at me.
    I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see a portly woman with velociraptor-length acrylic nails. Tiny reindeer were painted on them. She crossed her brawny arms over her huge and heaving chest and raised an over-penciled e yebrow at me.
    â€œCan you place your order? I’m in a hurry!”
    â€œI did!” I snapped, then turned back to Elf Boy, who had finally started entering my drinks into the register.
    â€œHow much is that?” I