are safer than others, but pretty much everywhere is dangerous, especially
for me.
I absorb every disturbing detail. Children born here are forced to live the remainder
of their lives in the Hole. The commander believes they carry the blood of sinners
within them and, therefore, don’t deserve to leave.
I drop my pen on the table.
He huffs a heavy sigh. “Now what?” I feel him shift in his chair.
“How could anyone be so cruel?”
“Forceful is putting it lightly. Then again, if he weren’t, you’d think he was soft
enough to try and escape, right?”
I shake my head. “I just don’t understand why you’d want to join the guards.” After
the sentence slips out, I clench my teeth in expectation of his response.
Will he lash out and hit me or will he finally rip me to shreds?
He gives me a hard look and avoids my question. “Can I finish?”
“Yeah, go ahead.” I lean back and cross my legs at my ankles. “But I have one more
question.”
“Seriously?” he asks.
“Are all sinners treated equally?”
“Yes.”
“Then why are you protecting me?”
“That I can’t answer.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Both,” he says. “I was ordered to watch you, and that’s what I’m doing. There’s nothing
more to tell. Now please shut up and let me finish.”
He tells me all the rules without any personality. His monotone voice flips through
the pages. No this. No that. No one but the guards has rights here. Trudging through all the details of my new
arrangement takes all of the morning, afternoon, and part of the evening. He shows
me maps of the Hole and the hospital, which stands in the center of this monstrosity.
He writes out my schedule for the week, which consists of my cell, work, and back
to my cell. The Hole runs just like a prison but without bars to hold everyone in
place. He says the commander believes the judicial system that used to exist was full
of flaws and a waste of time.
“After all, it’s easier and cheaper to keep everyone in one location,” Cole says.
I totally disagree.
“You should just kill me. You have a gun, and no one would care.”
“Lexi.” I feel his eyes on me. “What’s wrong with you? You think I want to kill you?”
“I’m a waste of your time.”
“My job is to protect you, not kill you.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“Without me you’d be dead, so yes, for whatever reason, I am.”
I’m not sure what he means by that, but I’m done asking questions today.
I lower my eyes to the table, feeling shame mixed with despair. I’ll never get out
of here. Either he’ll be with me or some crazy person will do worse to me in the streets.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” His voice is shaky with an edge of desperation. “I thought
we already established that.”
“Sorry.” I stand and smooth out my shirt. “May I go back to my cell for a minute?”
Tears sit on the rims of my eyes, and I pretend to rub them when I’m really trying
to keep from crying.
“Sure.” He gives me a conflicted look and then rips his gaze away.
I head back to my empty room and cover my mouth with my shirt as the tears spill out.
My circumstances seem so dismal.
Yet there’s got to be hope, right? Cole said he didn’t want to hurt me.
Zeus lies down next to me and nudges my elbow. I slide away from him, spying his silly
sideways expression and smile.
Is he trying to comfort me?
Cole calls from his room. “As soon as I’m ready, we’ll head over to the hospital.
You have to be familiar with the building. I won’t be with you when you’re working
so you need to know what to expect,” he says from the doorway. “Would you come back
so I don’t have to yell?”
“Where will you be?” I grudgingly return to his room.
“Training.” He opens the safe and straps two handguns onto his side. His dark-gray
uniform emphasizes his muscular build, and he catches me staring.
Trying to pass it off,