turned to Will with resignation.
“So let’s get some bacon cheese fries, and when I’m feeling steadier, how about I take you to the place that will answer all your questions, okay?”
“Awesome!” Will agreed. “And after that, maybe we can have some ice cream!”
Kenny shrugged. And then ice cream. Why the hell not?
“O H G OD !” Will hid his face behind his hands. “I could not possibly have been that naïve!”
Kenny nodded at Nina, shuddering from the memory. “Oh, believe it,” he said grimly. He dropped his voice and looked for Ashley, who was just getting the cake from the caterer and starting on her way back. “Worst case of blue balls I’ve had in my life !” Will heard him confess.
Will moaned. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”
Nina nodded with no trace of levity—only her over-bright eyes revealed that she thought this was as funny as hell. “Look at him,” she said, a sweet smile on her face.
Kenny turned around and socked Will in the arm, and Will yelped, rubbing his bicep. “What?” he asked. He hadn’t done anything!
“You said you two had nothing in common!” Kenny snapped, and Will and Nina looked at each other and shook their heads.
“Baby,” Will said seriously, patting Kenny’s knee, “the only thing we have in common right now is that we are listening to you.”
Kenny sniffed delicately. “Okay. Well, in that case, it’s your turn.”
Will shrugged, and then he blushed. “Oh God. Do I have to….”
“Yes,” Kenny said.
Will felt like he was being punished for something and he still had no idea what he’d done wrong.
“Yes, you do!”
Will looked up at Ashley as she neared with the cake. “Thank you, sweetheart,” he said earnestly and took the chocolate one and passed it to Kenny. He took the vanilla one for himself and looked longingly across the yard at the ice chest with the water in it, needing it to balance all the sugar.
“Aunt Nina…,” Ashley whined, and Nina laughed understandingly.
“Go get him some water, sweetie, and then you can go play, how’s that!”
Ashley kissed Nina on the cheek. “I want to dance with Aunt Cara before she gets tired.”
“Deal,” Nina said.
Ashley skipped away and Nina leaned forward. “Okay, guys. I give. Where’d you go next?”
Will mumbled into his hands, and she flicked his forehead. “Say it out loud,” she prompted.
And he did.
Wank Off and Keep it Secret
W ILL WOKE up on Kenny’s couch in his boxer shorts and undershirt, wondering if his mom’s evil hairless cat had crapped in his mouth. And then dropped a car on his head.
Then he wondered where he was.
Then he wondered who was shaking his arm and trying to talk to him.
“Will? Will—baby, I’m sorry. I know you don’t have anywhere to be right now, and it’s Saturday, but I left stuff on my desk I’ve got to finish at work.”
“Kenny?” he mumbled. Slowly he sat up, shedding the light blanket he’d been huddled under.
“Here,” Kenny said, looking insufferably perky in a pair of bright-red pants and a red-and-white fitted polo. He handed Will two Tylenol and a glass of water. “This will help.”
Will took the Tylenol without question. God… his head . “So this is what I was missing through college?” he asked philosophically. “All things considered, I think actually doing my homework was the way to go.”
Kenny laughed. “Speak for yourself, precious. I’m pretty sure the best times I had in college were the times I’ve forgotten ,before I woke up like this.”
Will nodded, then gulped some water. “Good for you. Let me know if those come back to you.”
He felt a decidedly tender hand tousling his hair. “Look, I’ve got to go—I just didn’t want you to wake up in an empty house. Take your time—”
Will shook his head and set the empty glass on the coffee table. “No—that’s nice of you, but I should go home. I’ve got a deadline for a web client—I need to take that