Read Shame on You for Free Online Page A

Stephanie’s party. Why can’t I go?” my oldest daughter, Meadow, whines.
    “Because you’re twelve . Do you know what kind of twelve-year-olds go to co-ed parties when there aren’t any parents home? Slutty ones, that’s who,” I inform her as I put the last of the supper dishes into the dishwasher.
    Meadow is going to be the death of me. I thought having two daughters was going to be trying enough considering I know nothing about being girly. Thank God I have Paige and Lorelei now. At least they can take her shopping when she doesn’t like the jeans and T-shirts I pick out for her. I know you’re not supposed to force your children to be like you, but come on, what parent doesn’t at least try?
    I put her in karate class when she was four and she spent the entire six-week lesson doing pirouettes around the other kids and breaking out into random dance moves instead of kicking some ass. I gave her all of my old G.I. Joe guys to play with when she was six and she gave them all makeovers with nail polish and glitter glue. G.I. Joe can never show his face in the line of duty again. When she turned seven I finally had to suck it up and buy her a Barbie .
    “Oh my GOD, you are ruining my life!” Meadow screeches at me before stomping out of the kitchen.
    “YOU’RE WELCOME!” I shout in reply.
    Seriously, she’ll thank me one day when she’s paying a shrink and getting her money’s worth.
    Heading over to the fridge, I grab a much-needed bottle of beer and before I can take my first sip, I’m interrupted by a sigh behind me.
    Turning around, I see my youngest daughter, Livia, staring up at me with the same annoyed look on her face that I’m sure I have. Yes, I named my daughters after characters on The Sopranos . It’s in my blood to name my offspring after famous people.
    “Meadow is in her room screaming about how much her life sucks. Can we trade her in for a new sister?”
    Livia is nine and so much like me it’s scary. Everyone calls her my mini-me. Not only does she look exactly like me with long, wavy auburn hair, but she also hates the color pink, her favorite movie is Full Metal Jacket, and on her Christmas list last year, she asked Santa for a Wenger Ueli Steck Special Edition Swiss Army knife.
    I’m not gonna lie; I cried a few tears when I saw that at the top of the list.
    “No, we cannot trade your sister in for a new model. It’s just a phase. She’ll get over it.”
    I hope.
    “Why does she want to go to a party with boys anyway? Boys are dumb. And gross,” Livia replies.
    Amen, sister.
    Boys are definitely dumb. Especially Alex. He was supposed to pick up the girls tonight and take them to dinner but cancelled at the last minute. Via text. He couldn’t even be decent enough to call and tell me, the rat bastard. Meadow immediately tried to take advantage of the situation by telling me that the only thing that would fix her devastation at being stood up by her father was to go to a party. It was a nice try on her part, but I wasn’t born yesterday. Livia, never one to let something like that ruin her day, just shrugged and asked what was for dinner.
    Before I can sit Livia down and explain to her all the reasons that boys suck and why she should stay away from them forever, the doorbell rings. For a second as I leave Livia in the kitchen to go answer the door, I actually think it’s Alex, coming over to beg forgiveness from the girls and trying to be a stand-up guy.
    I should have known better.
    Checking the peephole, I groan when I see Griffin standing on the front porch and fling the door open.
    “What the hell are you doing here?” I demand as Livia comes up behind me and shoves me out of the way to go barreling into his arms.
    “Uncle Griffin!”
    He scoops her up with ease and swings her around in circles on the front porch.
    “Look at how big you’ve gotten. You’re going to be taller than me soon,” he tells her before setting her back down on her feet. “I told you