Read Sentinel [Covenant #5] for Free Online Page B

ahead with Olivia. Air sawed in and out of my lungs at an alarming rate, and I only became aware of how slowly we were walking because there was a good distance between us and the crowd ahead. The cord was spazzing out. Maybe it was reaction to my anxiety levels or something, but sights and sounds were amplified. The calls of the birds were shrill. Leaves rustled like a thousand papers crinkling. The sun was too bright, conversation from the mass of people too loud. Gods, the pressure came out of nowhere, clamping down on my chest—holy crap, it was hard to breathe—like someone had put vise grips on me. A sharp, hot tingle swept up my spine and spread along my head. There was something definitely wrong with me, and it wasn’t of the panic attack variety. Running through my head on repeat was one thought: why couldn’t I really feel anything other than this? Where was the grief? Why did my chest feel empty and cold unless I was angry or scared? But last night, when I’d been in Aiden’s arms, the numbness hadn’t felt so bad, like the lid had been unscrewed just a bit more. And I was normally a pretty emotional person. In any given day, I experienced a hundred different things like I was trying ice cream flavors. This wasn’t right or normal, and it terrified me. I stopped suddenly, and so did Aiden. Holding onto my hand, he looked over his shoulder at me. “Alex?” My chest hurt. “I can’t feel anything.” Facing me fully, he cocked his head to the side, brows lowered. “What do you mean?” I placed my free hand on my chest. “I can’t feel anything in here.” Aiden started to let go of my hand, but I held on for dear life. “What’s happening?” “I don’t know.” I took a shallow breath. “I can’t feel anything except—except fear and pain. Everything else feels muted. I can’t cry—I didn’t even cry when I saw my mom.” Shock flickered across his striking face. “You saw your mom?” “See!” Panic dug in with rotten claws. “I didn’t even tell you about that, and I tell you everything. I haven’t even thought about it, not really. I’m like meh. Everything is meh.”Concern replaced the surprise as he shifted closer. “Do you think it’s Seth?” I shook my head so fast the choppy hair smacked my cheeks. “He’s not talking to me.” “But that doesn’t mean it’s not him,” he reasoned, and anger flashed among the concern. “It doesn’t make sense. What does he have to gain from doing this? Then again, does it have to make sense?” I pulled free then, tugging the hair back from my face. “What if I’m broken? What if this is how I’m always going to feel? What—” “Whoa. Slow down, Alex.” Aiden cupped my cheeks. “You’re not broken. You’re not going to always feel this way. You’ve been through some crazy stuff. It’s going to take time for you to process everything. Take a deep breath. Come on, just a deep breath. Inhale, and let it out slowly.” I gripped his wrists, barely able to get my fingers around them, and did what he said. “Okay. I’m breathing.” “Good.” The silver hue of his eyes was my entire world. “Keep breathing with me.” I kept breathing, but I also started moving. I don’t know why I did what I did next. Maybe it was because if I didn’t really feel this, I was screwed six ways from Sunday. Rising up on the tips of my toes, I kissed Aiden. Yeah, totally not appropriate after-funeral behavior. But I kissed him. I needed to feel something other than numbness, pain, and anger, if only for a little bit. And when Aiden kissed me, I’d always felt so many emotions I was dizzy from them. Aiden lifted his head slightly. “Did you feel that?” “Yes,” I breathed, shivering as our lips brushed. His lips curved into a one-sided smile. “I was kind of hoping you’d say you didn’t so I’d have a really good excuse to kiss you again.” My fingers dug into his arms. “You don’t need an excuse.” And I didn’t have to