in front of the empty house. It had just begun to rain.
‘This is the most fabulous house,’ Mrs Poshbody said. ‘I just know you’re going to love it.’
‘It looks okay,’ thought Selby, ‘but that’s not the point: living way out here would give me the creeps. Besides, I like where we live now. It’s only a short walk to town. I could never get to town from here unless someone drove me. I hope it’s horrible inside.’
‘Do show us through it,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘It does look quite stunning.’
‘Yes, I’m impressed too,’ Dr Trifle said.
‘That’s the last thing I wanted to hear,’ Selby thought. ‘Maybe there’s some way that I can put them off it. I’ll have to think of something.’
When Mrs Poshbody opened the door, Selby went ahead of them through the first room and into the next room.
‘Bad luck: the house looks okay,’ he thought. ‘Maybe I could do something to make it look not so okay…’
Selby suddenly spied a pencil lying on the floor.
‘I’ll try the old cracked walls trick,’ he thought. ‘That’ll give them something to think about.’
Selby drew some jagged lines on the wall and then quickly dropped the pencil again as the real-estate agent led the Trifles into the room.
‘Look at this magnificent dining-room,’ the woman said. ‘Can’t you just see yourself and ten of your closest friends sitting here on a warm summer’s day eating and talking?’
‘It is nice,’ said Mrs Trifle. ‘But tell me this: is the house sinking?’
‘Sinking? Goodness no. These foundations are as solid as old cheese.’
‘Then why are there cracks in the walls?’ Mrs Trifle asked. ‘I think the foundations must be breaking up or sinking — or both.’
‘Good point,’ Dr Trifle added. ‘We wouldn’t want to buy a house that had problems like that.’
‘Very strange,’ Mrs Poshbody said as she looked closely at the walls. ‘Goodness me! Look! They aren’t cracks at all. They’re only pencil lines made to look like cracks. Someone’s been scribbling on the walls.’
‘Why so they have,’ Dr Trifle laughed. ‘Isn’t that strange?’
‘Crumbs,’ Selby thought. ‘I guess I’ll have to do better than that.’
Selby raced around through another room and into the kitchen ahead of the group.
‘Hmmm, it’s raining now,’ he thought. ‘What a good time for the old leaky roof trick. Maybe they won’t want to buy the house if the roof leaks.’
With this he quietly got some water from the sink and poured a big puddle on the floor.
‘Now I’d better hide,’ Selby thought as he climbed into the cupboard under the sink, ‘or they’ll think it’s a Selby puddle and not a leaking roof puddle.’
Just as Selby closed the cupboard door Mrs Poshbody led the Trifles into the kitchen.
‘And here is your dream kitchen,’ the woman said. ‘Just think of the fabulous meals you’ll be able to make here. Good food makes a happy home.’
‘It’s very nice,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘But tell me something: does the roof leak?’
‘Roof? Leak? Impossible!’ Mrs Poshbody exclaimed, waving her hands in the air. ‘Whythis house has the tightest, driest roof in the whole of Slaghaven Heights.’
‘Then how do you explain this puddle?’ Mrs Trifle said, pointing.
‘Oh, that !I-I-I …’ Mrs Poshbody said, suddenly at a loss for words. ‘I spilled a glass of water just before you arrived, that’s what I did. And I didn’t have time to wipe it up.’
‘Hang on a tick!’ Selby thought. ‘
She
didn’t spill any water —
I
did! She’s not telling the truth. Okay, so I was, well, slightly sneaky when I drew those pencil marks and slightly sneaky again when I poured the water on the floor but she doesn’t know that. She must
think
that the roof really is leaking and now she’s lying to the Trifles!’
‘Well that’s a relief,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘You had me worried for a minute there.’
‘What’s the plumbing like?’ Dr Trifle asked.
‘Of